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Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible
. rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky-panky,
. and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his
. eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother
. you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital,
. dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
. attention to criticism.
#2 In the '60s, people took acid to make the world weird.
. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it
. normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today
. may be a burning issue tomorrow.
