New study uncovers surprising patterns that lead to affairs in committed relationships
- Replies 10
One of the most devastating events that can happen in a committed relationship is infidelity – but what leads someone to act on an affair?
Well, a new study has uncovered the patterns that lead to an affair in a committed relationship and the long-term consequences of such a traumatic event.
According to the study, there's a pattern of gradual decline that occurs in relationships before an affair takes place.
The study aimed to provide insight into whether relationship problems typically happen before or after an affair or even both.
‘Infidelity is largely believed to have damaging consequences for personal and relationship well-being,’ the authors wrote.
‘Yet the empirical literature remains inconclusive regarding whether infidelity leads to relationship problems, represents a mere symptom of troubled relationships, or both.’
Researchers from Tilburg University analysed data from almost 1,000 German adults over an average of eight years, exploring how certain events impact their relationships.
A total of 609 instigators of infidelity and 338 victims were included in the study. Researchers focused on those who were in a committed relationship and experienced and studied another group not involved in infidelity to make comparisons.
Participants' well-being was tracked using self-reporting, gauging their psychological well-being and relationship satisfaction.
Initial results showed that people who cheated on their partner reported lower self-esteem, decreased relationship satisfaction, and diminished intimacy after the affair occurred.
Meanwhile, the victims of infidelity only reported lower self-esteem and increased conflict. Surprisingly, other measures of well-being didn't decrease for the victims.
However, the real game-changer was the pattern leading up to the affair: almost all relationship well-being indicators saw a gradual decline, including increased conflict and decreased satisfaction for both parties.
It appears that a slow decay of the relationship might be the real contributing factor leading to infidelity.
However, some suggest that other common reasons for infidelity may include feelings of boredom, lack of emotional or physical connection between the partners, or feeling disconnected from the partner.
For some, factors include feeling under-appreciated, not feeling heard or supported, feeling unloved, seeking attention from elsewhere, or unresolved conflicts in the relationship that go unresolved for a long period of time.
Following the affair, the majority of relationships did not recover – although with some exceptions. For couples involving unfaithful women and those with lower relationship commitments, this was not always true.
The study revealed that unlike the recovery experienced after other significant life events, those involved with infidelity failed to regain or increase their well-being.
This study was originally published in Psychological Science and shed light on the importance of open communication, trust, and mutual understanding between partners.
We know that relationships require dedication and love to flourish. We recommend investing time in your partnership, engaging in open discussions, and addressing concerns as they arise to prevent potential relationship decline.
Keep in mind, if you or your partner feel the relationship is struggling, it's better to seek professional help, such as couples counselling, sooner rather than later.
Addressing any issues head-on may protect your partnership from further deterioration and help sustain the love, trust, and commitment you have worked so hard to build.
As they say, 'Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.' So, dear members, let's keep building and maintaining our relationships so that they may stand the test of time.
Do you have any tips for combating a slipping relationship? Do you agree with the findings of this study? Tell us about it in the comments below!
Well, a new study has uncovered the patterns that lead to an affair in a committed relationship and the long-term consequences of such a traumatic event.
According to the study, there's a pattern of gradual decline that occurs in relationships before an affair takes place.
The study aimed to provide insight into whether relationship problems typically happen before or after an affair or even both.
‘Infidelity is largely believed to have damaging consequences for personal and relationship well-being,’ the authors wrote.
‘Yet the empirical literature remains inconclusive regarding whether infidelity leads to relationship problems, represents a mere symptom of troubled relationships, or both.’
Researchers from Tilburg University analysed data from almost 1,000 German adults over an average of eight years, exploring how certain events impact their relationships.
A total of 609 instigators of infidelity and 338 victims were included in the study. Researchers focused on those who were in a committed relationship and experienced and studied another group not involved in infidelity to make comparisons.
Participants' well-being was tracked using self-reporting, gauging their psychological well-being and relationship satisfaction.
Initial results showed that people who cheated on their partner reported lower self-esteem, decreased relationship satisfaction, and diminished intimacy after the affair occurred.
Meanwhile, the victims of infidelity only reported lower self-esteem and increased conflict. Surprisingly, other measures of well-being didn't decrease for the victims.
However, the real game-changer was the pattern leading up to the affair: almost all relationship well-being indicators saw a gradual decline, including increased conflict and decreased satisfaction for both parties.
It appears that a slow decay of the relationship might be the real contributing factor leading to infidelity.
However, some suggest that other common reasons for infidelity may include feelings of boredom, lack of emotional or physical connection between the partners, or feeling disconnected from the partner.
For some, factors include feeling under-appreciated, not feeling heard or supported, feeling unloved, seeking attention from elsewhere, or unresolved conflicts in the relationship that go unresolved for a long period of time.
Following the affair, the majority of relationships did not recover – although with some exceptions. For couples involving unfaithful women and those with lower relationship commitments, this was not always true.
The study revealed that unlike the recovery experienced after other significant life events, those involved with infidelity failed to regain or increase their well-being.
This study was originally published in Psychological Science and shed light on the importance of open communication, trust, and mutual understanding between partners.
We know that relationships require dedication and love to flourish. We recommend investing time in your partnership, engaging in open discussions, and addressing concerns as they arise to prevent potential relationship decline.
Keep in mind, if you or your partner feel the relationship is struggling, it's better to seek professional help, such as couples counselling, sooner rather than later.
Addressing any issues head-on may protect your partnership from further deterioration and help sustain the love, trust, and commitment you have worked so hard to build.
As they say, 'Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.' So, dear members, let's keep building and maintaining our relationships so that they may stand the test of time.
Key Takeaways
- A new study has identified a pattern of gradual relationship decline prior to one person having an affair.
- The study from Tilburg University analysed a large cohort of around 1,000 German adults and followed them for an average of 8 years to show how events impact their relationships.
- Results showed that relationship well-being indicators, such as satisfaction and conflict, gradually declined leading up to the affair.
- After the affair, the vast majority of relationships did not recover, and the well-being of those involved in infidelity did not improve even years after the event.