New study uncovers surprising patterns that lead to affairs in committed relationships

One of the most devastating events that can happen in a committed relationship is infidelity – but what leads someone to act on an affair?

Well, a new study has uncovered the patterns that lead to an affair in a committed relationship and the long-term consequences of such a traumatic event.



According to the study, there's a pattern of gradual decline that occurs in relationships before an affair takes place.

The study aimed to provide insight into whether relationship problems typically happen before or after an affair or even both.


sad1.jpg
The study revealed that there are patterns that lead to infidelity in a committed relationship. Credit: Min An/Pexels

‘Infidelity is largely believed to have damaging consequences for personal and relationship well-being,’ the authors wrote.

‘Yet the empirical literature remains inconclusive regarding whether infidelity leads to relationship problems, represents a mere symptom of troubled relationships, or both.’



Researchers from Tilburg University analysed data from almost 1,000 German adults over an average of eight years, exploring how certain events impact their relationships.

A total of 609 instigators of infidelity and 338 victims were included in the study. Researchers focused on those who were in a committed relationship and experienced and studied another group not involved in infidelity to make comparisons.


sad2.jpg
The study explored how certain events impact relationships. Credit: Laura Stanley/Pexels

Participants' well-being was tracked using self-reporting, gauging their psychological well-being and relationship satisfaction.

Initial results showed that people who cheated on their partner reported lower self-esteem, decreased relationship satisfaction, and diminished intimacy after the affair occurred.

Meanwhile, the victims of infidelity only reported lower self-esteem and increased conflict. Surprisingly, other measures of well-being didn't decrease for the victims.



However, the real game-changer was the pattern leading up to the affair: almost all relationship well-being indicators saw a gradual decline, including increased conflict and decreased satisfaction for both parties.

It appears that a slow decay of the relationship might be the real contributing factor leading to infidelity.

However, some suggest that other common reasons for infidelity may include feelings of boredom, lack of emotional or physical connection between the partners, or feeling disconnected from the partner.

For some, factors include feeling under-appreciated, not feeling heard or supported, feeling unloved, seeking attention from elsewhere, or unresolved conflicts in the relationship that go unresolved for a long period of time.

Following the affair, the majority of relationships did not recover – although with some exceptions. For couples involving unfaithful women and those with lower relationship commitments, this was not always true.



The study revealed that unlike the recovery experienced after other significant life events, those involved with infidelity failed to regain or increase their well-being.

This study was originally published in Psychological Science and shed light on the importance of open communication, trust, and mutual understanding between partners.

We know that relationships require dedication and love to flourish. We recommend investing time in your partnership, engaging in open discussions, and addressing concerns as they arise to prevent potential relationship decline.

Keep in mind, if you or your partner feel the relationship is struggling, it's better to seek professional help, such as couples counselling, sooner rather than later.

Addressing any issues head-on may protect your partnership from further deterioration and help sustain the love, trust, and commitment you have worked so hard to build.



As they say, 'Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.' So, dear members, let's keep building and maintaining our relationships so that they may stand the test of time.
Key Takeaways
  • A new study has identified a pattern of gradual relationship decline prior to one person having an affair.
  • The study from Tilburg University analysed a large cohort of around 1,000 German adults and followed them for an average of 8 years to show how events impact their relationships.
  • Results showed that relationship well-being indicators, such as satisfaction and conflict, gradually declined leading up to the affair.
  • After the affair, the vast majority of relationships did not recover, and the well-being of those involved in infidelity did not improve even years after the event.
Do you have any tips for combating a slipping relationship? Do you agree with the findings of this study? Tell us about it in the comments below!
 
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One of the most devastating events that can happen in a committed relationship is infidelity – but what leads someone to act on an affair?

Well, a new study has uncovered the patterns that lead to an affair in a committed relationship and the long-term consequences of such a traumatic event.



According to the study, there's a pattern of gradual decline that occurs in relationships before an affair takes place.

The study aimed to provide insight into whether relationship problems typically happen before or after an affair or even both.


View attachment 20591
The study revealed that there are patterns that lead to infidelity in a committed relationship. Credit: Min An/Pexels

‘Infidelity is largely believed to have damaging consequences for personal and relationship well-being,’ the authors wrote.

‘Yet the empirical literature remains inconclusive regarding whether infidelity leads to relationship problems, represents a mere symptom of troubled relationships, or both.’



Researchers from Tilburg University analysed data from almost 1,000 German adults over an average of eight years, exploring how certain events impact their relationships.

A total of 609 instigators of infidelity and 338 victims were included in the study. Researchers focused on those who were in a committed relationship and experienced and studied another group not involved in infidelity to make comparisons.


View attachment 20592
The study explored how certain events impact relationships. Credit: Laura Stanley/Pexels

Participants' well-being was tracked using self-reporting, gauging their psychological well-being and relationship satisfaction.

Initial results showed that people who cheated on their partner reported lower self-esteem, decreased relationship satisfaction, and diminished intimacy after the affair occurred.

Meanwhile, the victims of infidelity only reported lower self-esteem and increased conflict. Surprisingly, other measures of well-being didn't decrease for the victims.



However, the real game-changer was the pattern leading up to the affair: almost all relationship well-being indicators saw a gradual decline, including increased conflict and decreased satisfaction for both parties.

It appears that a slow decay of the relationship might be the real contributing factor leading to infidelity.

However, some suggest that other common reasons for infidelity may include feelings of boredom, lack of emotional or physical connection between the partners, or feeling disconnected from the partner.

For some, factors include feeling under-appreciated, not feeling heard or supported, feeling unloved, seeking attention from elsewhere, or unresolved conflicts in the relationship that go unresolved for a long period of time.

Following the affair, the majority of relationships did not recover – although with some exceptions. For couples involving unfaithful women and those with lower relationship commitments, this was not always true.



The study revealed that unlike the recovery experienced after other significant life events, those involved with infidelity failed to regain or increase their well-being.

This study was originally published in Psychological Science and shed light on the importance of open communication, trust, and mutual understanding between partners.

We know that relationships require dedication and love to flourish. We recommend investing time in your partnership, engaging in open discussions, and addressing concerns as they arise to prevent potential relationship decline.

Keep in mind, if you or your partner feel the relationship is struggling, it's better to seek professional help, such as couples counselling, sooner rather than later.

Addressing any issues head-on may protect your partnership from further deterioration and help sustain the love, trust, and commitment you have worked so hard to build.



As they say, 'Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.' So, dear members, let's keep building and maintaining our relationships so that they may stand the test of time.
Key Takeaways

  • A new study has identified a pattern of gradual relationship decline prior to one person having an affair.
  • The study from Tilburg University analysed a large cohort of around 1,000 German adults and followed them for an average of 8 years to show how events impact their relationships.
  • Results showed that relationship well-being indicators, such as satisfaction and conflict, gradually declined leading up to the affair.
  • After the affair, the vast majority of relationships did not recover, and the well-being of those involved in infidelity did not improve even years after the event.
Do you have any tips for combating a slipping relationship? Do you agree with the findings of this study? Tell us about it in the comments below!
no replies as yet. well, i will give one. it happened to me, without the slightest thought of ending in an affair. i did not get affection and it plopped right at my door. I had happiness like i had never experienced. It happened and one never knows when, how or what until it does. I have learnt that.
 
A marriage takes 2 for it to work.

A marriage to work needs commitment, patience, romance when a person is in a loveless marriage I can understand how one can have an affair.

When someone is in a loveless marriage and with kids you will usually stay together because of the kids.

When there is a problem in a marriage its important to talk and to try and fix the problem.

Once an affair happens it is very hard to move on from it . You may be able to forgive but harder to forget.
Then you have a thing called trust issues .

I think if you can't keep the flame lit and you can't fix it and you seek more then maybe it's time to divorce.
 
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A marriage takes 2 for it to work.

A marriage to work needs commitment, patience, romance when a person is in a loveless marriage I can understand how one can have an affair.

When someone is in a loveless marriage and with kids you will usually stay together because of the kids.

When there is a problem in a marriage its important to talk and to try and fix the problem.

Once an affair happens it is very hard to move on from it . You may be able to forgive but harder to forget.
Then you have a thing called trust issues .

I think if you can't keep the flame lit and you can't fix it and you seek more then maybe it's time to divorce.
Have considered that
 
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Have to admit I have been there done that. When you feel unloved it can happen. By the way when my husband and I divorced after 34 years together I found out that he had more affairs that I didn't know about. I guess neither of us were happy and stayed for the kids.
 
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I was nearly strangled, (Just for being too tired to do his iorning as I suffered from aneamia at the time) kicked in the backside, (for asking him to fix a fly screen before he went out for the day). When our first baby was born he went out to a dance. Our baby had to go to the nearest capital city for treatment. He travelled with me but when we got there he had to go and see some mates, as a result he was already on the train when I arrived, loaded down with the baby and pardel of clothes and bottles). I had to go to work to pay for babies special food and ointments and health expenses. He would not help in the house at all, but complained about just about everything I did. It became that way that I hated him. He would not discuss anything, he was always right and he didn't say at the time but he acted as if he owned me, and anything he did do it was for me -not us. I left three tiems but he came and said that he would change - maybe for a week. He would not do anything for the children and I could not depend on him for any support and he wondered why I left. A man phoned me up and sai "Do you know that your husband is having an affair with my wife?". I said that "its not the first and while he was with her at least he wasn't with me". I had had enough by then after 23 years. One can't live with someone who treats them like the enemy. I am only sorry that I didn't leave earlier, but I was a fraid the children would suffer financially. ANY ONE READING THIS PLEASE DO NOT MARRY SOMEONE LIKE THIS, it ruins your life. One problem you don't know how they will behave after the children arrive, but if they are not prepared to consider you or make any threats "GO"
 
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One way to overcome this DO NOT GET MARRIED. I believe that women get married to procreate.
 

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