Mommy Pilot
The teacher gave her 5th grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back &, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff ... spilled milk, pennies saved, etc.
But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
"Janie," she asked, "do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a pilot, & her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory, & all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol & a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, & then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 enemy soldiers.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four (4) more with the knife, till the blade broke & then she killed the last one with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"He said to stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."
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