[Luckyus]

Mixed Bag​

Can you spare just $5.00 ?
Ranjitu is a 9yr old boy living in Zambia.
He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to School along a narrow road on a rusty bike
with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal..
If you send us just $5.00, we will send you the video- its hilarious.


I've caught a stray parrot in my garden.
All he says is, "Good morning you ugly bitch."
The parrot isn't yours is it?


I'm sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank.
Boy, did I give her a mouthful.


Been to the optometrist today - he told me I was colour blind.
I'm rather worried now that some of my mates could be black.
If you are, can you delete my e-mail address ?


There's a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market:
Trycoxagain.


In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point.
The question I got wrong was, Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other questions was to name two things
commonly found in Cells.
It appears that Aboriginals and their cousins is not the correct answer.


My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I
booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night.
Problem was she isn't interested in Snooker & Darts.


You can justifiably say lots of bad things about paedophiles,
but at least they drive slowly past schools.


A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I asked, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a
moustache."


We live in Perth Australia and my Missus decided for the first time
to wear a burka for a week just to see what the reaction would be.
The first morning she was sworn at, punched on the nose,
kicked up the **** and received death threats.
Heaven knows what’s going to happen when she leaves the house…


I'm living next door to a Muslim couple at the moment.
They have 3 little brat kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard,
So I'm just writing to you while the kettle boils !