Men secretly test dates with new tests to expose their true intentions
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Dating in the modern world can feel like navigating a minefield—especially with the rise of new, sneaky trends that can leave even the savviest among us scratching our heads.
One such trend making waves (and not in a good way) is the so-called ‘gold digger test’—a tactic where men deliberately set up situations to see if women are only interested in their wallets, not their hearts.
If you’re thinking, 'Surely this can’t be happening in Australia?'—think again! Stories are popping up all over social media and dating forums, with women sharing their bewildering experiences of being ‘tested’ on dates.
In a nutshell, it’s when someone—usually a man—creates a scenario to gauge whether their date is after their money.
This could be as simple as suddenly asking their date to pay for the meal or as elaborate as pretending to have a less impressive job or financial situation to see if the other person sticks around.
Take Georgina*, a 27-year-old from Melbourne, for example. After a few pleasant dates where she and her date took turns paying, she found herself in an awkward situation over a frozen yoghurt.
Her date rushed to pay for his own, leaving her to pay for hers while he watched awkwardly.
'He has a good job, so it was honestly so strange to me to do that over a $6 yoghurt,' she said.
The date ended in silence, but the invitations kept coming—leaving her confused and a little put-off.
Another woman shared her story on Reddit: after a great first date, her companion handed her the entire $100 bill and asked if she could pay.
She agreed, only for him to grin and say, 'Congratulations, you passed the test! You’re not a gold digger.'
He later admitted he’d been burned before and now ‘tests’ women to make sure they’re not after his money.
According to relationship expert Christine Rafe, this trend is a symptom of broader cultural shifts.
The rise of ‘alpha male’ podcasters and social media personalities—think Andrew Tate and his ilk—has fuelled suspicion and mistrust between men and women, especially around money and dating.
These influencers often push the idea that women are only interested in the top 10 per cent of men, financially and socially, leading some men to ‘test’ women’s intentions.
But it’s not just about online rhetoric. The cost of living is rising, and dating isn’t cheap.
The Choosi Swipe Right Report found that Australians aged 18-49 spend an average of $158 per date, with men estimating their spending at $233 and women at $101.
Nearly three-quarters of people agree that dating is more expensive than ever. With some men going on multiple dates a week, the costs can add up quickly—even for those with a decent income.
While it might seem like a clever way to weed out gold diggers, experts warn that these ‘tests’ are manipulative and damaging.
'These behaviours encourage lying and dominance from the very start,' says Ms Rafe.
'When one person sets a trap to see if the other will ‘pass’, they establish distrust that undermines emotional intimacy and connection.'
Healthy relationships are built on trust and open communication—not on secret tests and traps.
If you’re worried about someone’s intentions, it’s far better to have an honest conversation about values, expectations, and how you prefer to handle bills and shared expenses.
Ask about their hobbies, lifestyle, travel plans, and what they value in a relationship. These conversations will give you a much clearer picture than any ‘test’ ever could.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of a ‘gold digger test’, take it as a red flag. It’s a sign that the other person may not be ready for a mature, trusting relationship.
As Ms Rafe puts it, 'If you’ve been on a date where someone set a dishonest ‘test’ or ‘trap’, see it as a sign of their emotional immaturity and inability to communicate openly—and move on.'
Dating can be daunting at any age, but especially for those of us who remember a time when a date meant a milkshake at the local café and a walk in the park.
The world has changed, but the basics of a good relationship haven’t: honesty, respect, and open communication are still the gold standard.
Have you ever experienced a ‘gold digger test’ or something similar on a date? How do you think money should be handled when dating these days? We’d love to hear your thoughts and stories in the comments below.
Read more: Women living with HIV no longer a priority group, despite higher risks of late diagnosis and lack of specialised support
One such trend making waves (and not in a good way) is the so-called ‘gold digger test’—a tactic where men deliberately set up situations to see if women are only interested in their wallets, not their hearts.
If you’re thinking, 'Surely this can’t be happening in Australia?'—think again! Stories are popping up all over social media and dating forums, with women sharing their bewildering experiences of being ‘tested’ on dates.
In a nutshell, it’s when someone—usually a man—creates a scenario to gauge whether their date is after their money.
This could be as simple as suddenly asking their date to pay for the meal or as elaborate as pretending to have a less impressive job or financial situation to see if the other person sticks around.
Take Georgina*, a 27-year-old from Melbourne, for example. After a few pleasant dates where she and her date took turns paying, she found herself in an awkward situation over a frozen yoghurt.
A trend called ‘gold digger tests’ has been reported in Australian dating, with women tested to reveal interest in money or genuine connection. Credit: Depositphotos
Her date rushed to pay for his own, leaving her to pay for hers while he watched awkwardly.
'He has a good job, so it was honestly so strange to me to do that over a $6 yoghurt,' she said.
The date ended in silence, but the invitations kept coming—leaving her confused and a little put-off.
Another woman shared her story on Reddit: after a great first date, her companion handed her the entire $100 bill and asked if she could pay.
She agreed, only for him to grin and say, 'Congratulations, you passed the test! You’re not a gold digger.'
He later admitted he’d been burned before and now ‘tests’ women to make sure they’re not after his money.
According to relationship expert Christine Rafe, this trend is a symptom of broader cultural shifts.
The rise of ‘alpha male’ podcasters and social media personalities—think Andrew Tate and his ilk—has fuelled suspicion and mistrust between men and women, especially around money and dating.
These influencers often push the idea that women are only interested in the top 10 per cent of men, financially and socially, leading some men to ‘test’ women’s intentions.
The Choosi Swipe Right Report found that Australians aged 18-49 spend an average of $158 per date, with men estimating their spending at $233 and women at $101.
Nearly three-quarters of people agree that dating is more expensive than ever. With some men going on multiple dates a week, the costs can add up quickly—even for those with a decent income.
While it might seem like a clever way to weed out gold diggers, experts warn that these ‘tests’ are manipulative and damaging.
'These behaviours encourage lying and dominance from the very start,' says Ms Rafe.
'When one person sets a trap to see if the other will ‘pass’, they establish distrust that undermines emotional intimacy and connection.'
If you’re worried about someone’s intentions, it’s far better to have an honest conversation about values, expectations, and how you prefer to handle bills and shared expenses.
Ask about their hobbies, lifestyle, travel plans, and what they value in a relationship. These conversations will give you a much clearer picture than any ‘test’ ever could.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of a ‘gold digger test’, take it as a red flag. It’s a sign that the other person may not be ready for a mature, trusting relationship.
As Ms Rafe puts it, 'If you’ve been on a date where someone set a dishonest ‘test’ or ‘trap’, see it as a sign of their emotional immaturity and inability to communicate openly—and move on.'
The world has changed, but the basics of a good relationship haven’t: honesty, respect, and open communication are still the gold standard.
Read more: Women living with HIV no longer a priority group, despite higher risks of late diagnosis and lack of specialised support
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