[Skipton]

Late Opening!​

Upon arriving home, Morris, a husband, was met at the door by Ruth his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the chemist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, ,just to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.
Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone was still ringing - - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it...half of them hit the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer... ...so, I TOLD HER

 

[Sethia Soliman]

Upon arriving home, Morris, a husband, was met at the door by Ruth his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the chemist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, ,just to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.
Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone was still ringing - - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it...half of them hit the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer... ...so, I TOLD HER

Awesome joke, @Skipton ! I really enjoy reading them.