[Athena E.]

'Is this woman unreasonable for not sending a Mother's Day basket to her daughter-in-law?​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/InitialSong2898:

Am I being unreasonable for telling my daughter-in-law she is not a mother?

'I (64 years old, female) have three kids and they are all married. This post is about my son and his wife, Jenny. Jenny struggles with infertility and she has no children. My other son (daughter-in-law is expecting next month) and my daughter has recently had a her own kid (grandson). '

'Everyone was busy for Mother’s Day and they couldn’t meet up with me for the holiday (that's fine, they are starting their own families). I thought it would be nice to send my expecting DIL/son and my daughter a Mother’s Day basket.'

'So, Jenny always made comments that her two dogs are the first grandkids, I always thought it was a joke. She is big on being a dog mum. My daughter posted a picture of in the group chat of everything she got for Mother’s Day and included the basket. My other DIL also thanked me for her basket in the chat.'

'Jenny called me soon after and asked where her basket was. I was confused and asked what she meant (I thought she was pregnant and she was just telling me now). She clarified since I have two grandkids by her already and said her dogs' names. '

'I was even more confused at this and she clarified that she is her dogs' mother and should have gotten a basket. I told her she is not a mother, Mother’s Day is for women that raise human children, and not pet owners. She got really upset and cursed me out for not getting her a basket and that she is a parent.'

'My son is telling me to apologise and to send a Mother’s Day basket over. He is calling me a j*** for not sending her a basket and telling her she is a pet owner. Am I unreasonable?'

 

[Veggiepatch]

Did the mother receive gifts from her children ?

Did the childless daughter inlaw receive a gift from her own husband or dogs

The mother got this from her puppies....

 

[Sass]

Did the mother receive gifts from her children ?

Did the childless daughter inlaw receive a gift from her own husband or dogs

I wondered about this too. I think the DIL is wrong here but I don’t understand why the mum gave gifts to the others at all, after all it is her day & she should be the one receiving gifts.

 

[Suzanne rose]

The mother got this from her puppies....



View attachment 74753

 

[marni]

Well may I suggest that you are a jerk... as your DIL hasn't been able to achieve a baby her dogs have become her babies... I think what you said was cruel and unnecessary!

Wow. If you are a mother to a dog - that makes you a b… tch. I really think it best not to go there

 

[marni]

Our daughter is trying to get pregnant, and it breaks my heart that I can’t send her a gift for mothers. If she had pets that she called her babies, I definitely would send her a Mother’s Day gift.
The way I see this situation is, that your daughter in law needs to nurture someone whether a human baby or her pets, surely you must understand how she feels where is your compassion. In my opinion you are the reason that mothers in law are disliked.

I am so over pets becoming humanised. Actual children are in need of care, just foster real children if you have a need to nurture .

 

[Suzanne rose]

I am so over pets becoming humanised. Actual children are in need of care, just foster real children if you have a need to nurture .

I totally agree. I know people love their animals especially older people. But when you are young and having trouble conceiving you can always look at adopting a real human baby as well as a fur baby.
As for celebrating mothers day and fathers day leave it for humans

It's sad how many homeless children there are or children who have escaped abusive parents