Is it Time to Say Goodbye? Expert's Advice on When to Make the Heartbreaking Decision for Your Pet

Disclaimer: This article discusses distressing topics about grief and death. Reader discretion is advised.

As we age, the companionship of a pet can become an integral part of our daily lives. They're not just animals; they're family members who share in our joys and comfort us in our sorrows. But with this deep bond comes the inevitable heartache of having to make tough decisions when our beloved pets grow old or fall ill. It's a situation that many of us dread, and it raises the difficult question: when is it the right time to say goodbye?

Jodie Oldaker and Ashley Pinder, a couple who chose the companionship of golden retrievers over having children, found themselves facing this very dilemma. Their dogs, Harvey, Kippa, and Taiter, were more than pets; they were like their children, constants in their lives. When Harvey and Kippa's health began to decline, the couple struggled with the decision of when to euthanize. It's a decision that many pet owners grapple with, often feeling unprepared until the moment is upon them.


To navigate this emotional process, Oldaker and Pinder sought the guidance of Nikki Catley, a pet bereavement facilitator with 30 years of experience in supporting vets and pet owners through end-of-life decisions and grief support. Catley's role is to help pet owners assess whether their furry loved ones are truly living or merely existing, as she believes there's a significant difference between the two.


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Pet owners often struggle with grief, and Ms Catley's services have helped many individuals process pet loss and bereavement. Image Credit: Pexels/Boys in Bristol


Catley's frustration with oversimplified advice, such as the notion that eating and drinking are the sole indicators of a pet's well-being, led her to develop a more comprehensive approach. She uses a handbook with a scoring system that evaluates various criteria, including mobility, happiness, hydration, and appetite. Her support extends beyond the decision-making process to helping owners cope with pet loss and bereavement, acknowledging that society often fails to recognize the depth of grief associated with losing a pet.


The demand for Catley's services is on the rise, reflecting a societal shift where pets are increasingly seen as central family members, especially among those who choose not to have children or whose children have grown up and moved out. The bond between a pet and its owner can be profound, and the grief felt when that bond is broken is often as intense as the loss of a human loved one.

In Australia, where about 70 percent of households own pets, the emotional investment in these animals is significant. In 2022, households spent over $33 billion on pet services and products, with food accounting for half of the expenditure. Yet, despite this financial commitment, many pet owners still feel embarrassed about mourning the death of their pet, as if their grief is somehow less valid.

Catley's work includes addressing this stigma and giving pet owners permission to grieve. She organized a pet memorial service in Ballarat, where more than 100 pet owners gathered to remember and pay tribute to their late companions. Such events highlight the collective experience of pet loss and the need for communal support.


For our readers at the Seniors Discount Club, we understand that the topic of pet euthanasia is sensitive and deeply personal. If you're facing this tough decision, consider seeking the help of a pet bereavement facilitator like Nikki Catley. They can provide you with the tools to make an informed choice and the support to navigate the grief that follows.
Key Takeaways

  • Jodie Oldaker and Ashley Pinder, who consider their pets as their children, sought the help of pet bereavement facilitator Nikki Catley to make end-of-life decisions for their ailing dogs.
  • Nikki Catley assists pet owners with quality-of-life assessments and provides support in distinguishing whether a pet is 'living or existing,' as well as aiding with pet loss and bereavement.
  • Demand for pet bereavement services is rising, with pet owners often struggling with the intense grief experienced after the loss of a beloved animal, which can be similar to the grief felt for a human.
  • A pet memorial service in Ballarat allowed over 100 pet owners to come together and pay tribute to their late pets, highlighting the need for acknowledgement and support in dealing with pet grief.
Remember, it's okay to feel the loss deeply and to take the time you need to mourn. Your pet has been a cherished part of your life, and it's natural to feel a profound sense of loss. If you've been through this experience, we invite you to share your story in the comments below. How did you cope with the decision, and what helped you through the grieving process? Your insights could be a source of comfort and guidance to fellow pet owners in our community.
 
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I have had to make the decision for 4 of my dogs, it is never easy, I stayed and held them all to the end. Don't be afraid to cry after all a loved member of your family has gone over the rainbow bridge. It can take a considerable time to talk about them again without crying. You never forget them or stop missing them. It is O.K. to get another pet, it isn't taking the place of the previous one, it is new, has it's own personality and you will love it without forgetting all the others. Pets are one of the most beautiful things we can be lucky enough to have in our lives.
 
I remember as a child we had pure white cat which obviously was called Snowy, we would see him around when deigned it and craved a bit of pampering, however was gauranteed every Sunday dad went fishing you'd always finnd Snowy sitting on the fence at the end waiting, as somehow it knnown it was going to get a good feed. To cut a longer version some arsehole batied the poor bastard, as a result I've never had another pet.
 
My brother and I lost our beloved Jack Russell on September 28th this year....she was 15 years old and the most adorable pet and family member....she used to sleep on my brothers bed every night and they had the most beautiful connection imaginable...her very sudden ill health one night led us to a nearby vet that we had never used before...it was Saturday and after ringing our normal vet was told that they were closing in 15 minutes and they gave us the new vets number to follow up which we did. They were very good and after taking her straight in for inspection and an x-ray we were informed that they were sure that she had cancer of the spleen due to a large growth that appeared on the x-ray....because of her condition and her age he informed us that he recommended that she be put down immediately. What an absolute shock to both of us that was....after discussing it between ourselves we agreed with the recommendation with heavy hearts, fractured minds and many tears. We drove home two old shattered men and we still haven't gotten over our loss. Our home is not the same anymore without her presence and daily interaction we all enjoyed together.
The only saving grace is that she still lives with my brother in his room in the lovely receptacle bearing her name that we received from the crematorium. She may be missed quite naturally but she will never be forgotten by the both of us and our friends who also knew her. R.I.P Kazpah. ❤️ 🌹
 
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My brother and I lost our beloved Jack Russell on September 28th this year....she was 15 years old and the most adorable pet and family member....she used to sleep on my brothers bed every night and they had the most beautiful connection imaginable...her very sudden ill health one night led us to a nearby vet that we had never used before...it was Saturday and after ringing our normal vet was told that they were closing in 15 minutes and they gave us the new vets number to follow up which we did. They were very good and after taking her straight in for inspection and an x-ray we were informed that they were sure that she had cancer of the spleen due to a large growth that appeared on the x-ray....because of her condition and her age he informed us that he recommended that she be put down immediately. What an absolute shock to both of us that was....after discussing it between ourselves we agreed with the recommendation with heavy hearts, fractured minds and many tears. We drove home two old shattered men and we still haven't gotten over our loss. Our home is not the same anymore without her presence and daily interaction we all enjoyed together.
The only saving grace is that she still lives with my brother in his room in the lovely receptacle bearing her name that we received from the crematorium. She may be missed quite naturally but she will never be forgotten by the both of us and our friends who also knew her. R.I.P Kazpah. ❤️ 🌹
So sorry for your loss, she sounds like a very loved, beautiful soul who enriched your lives🐾
 
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On the 2nd August this year my little girl was helped to pass as she suffered from a Spinal stroke and nothing could be done for her. I am on my own and her and her brother were the only family I had and I'm still grieving her as is her brother. One day she will come to tell him its time and he will leave too so I'm dreading that day but I know the decision will be best for him to be with her again in their senior years.
 
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On the 2nd August this year my little girl was helped to pass as she suffered from a Spinal stroke and nothing could be done for her. I am on my own and her and her brother were the only family I had and I'm still grieving her as is her brother. One day she will come to tell him its time and he will leave too so I'm dreading that day but I know the decision will be best for him to be with her again in their senior years.
Rosi, I feel your grief following your loss. Look after her brother, he will be great company.❤️
 
About two weeks ago, I had to put my oldest cat Sisi to sleep forever. She was 17 years old and had been with me for a big part of my life, helping me a lot. She got really sick and her kidneys failed so badly that she stopped eating. I knew her time was almost up. I've had many cats over my life and I always tell myself it's for their own good when it's time to go. I believe all animals go to a rainbow bridge after they pass. 🌈
 
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I remember as a child we had pure white cat which obviously was called Snowy, we would see him around when deigned it and craved a bit of pampering, however was gauranteed every Sunday dad went fishing you'd always finnd Snowy sitting on the fence at the end waiting, as somehow it knnown it was going to get a good feed. To cut a longer version some arsehole batied the poor bastard, as a result I've never had another pet.
so sorry for your loss:cry::cry:
 

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