Is Charging Guests for Drinks at Your Wedding Tacky? This Bride Got Slammed for It – Find Out Why!

Weddings are a time of joy, celebration, and often, a fair bit of tradition. One of those traditions is the hosting of guests, which typically includes providing food and drinks. But what happens when a bride decides to break with tradition and charge guests for their alcoholic beverages? This is the dilemma that one bride-to-be faced, and her decision sparked quite the debate online.

The bride in question took to Reddit to seek advice on whether it would be considered 'tacky' to have a cash bar at her wedding. She explained that her family had a number of 'terrible drunks' and she was concerned about them overindulging if alcohol was freely available. Despite her good intentions, her query was met with a wave of criticism from the online community, branding her decision as 'tacky' and 'cheap'.


The concept of a cash bar at weddings is not new, but it remains controversial. Traditionally, the hosts of the wedding – often the bride and groom or their families – cover the cost of food and drinks as a gesture of hospitality towards their guests. However, with the rising costs of weddings and the desire to prevent excessive drinking, some couples are considering alternative approaches like cash bars.


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Significant events such as weddings often call for alcohol, but attendees should also drink responsibly. Image Credit: Pexels/Serdar Aksoy


The bride's post, titled 'Cash bar only opinion?', detailed her concerns and her tentative solution. She and her fiancé planned to provide two bottles of wine per table during dinner, but beyond that, guests would need to pay for their own drinks. The reactions were swift and strong, with many advising against a cash bar, suggesting it would be the one thing guests would remember and talk about for years to come.


One commenter suggested that a cash bar wouldn't necessarily prevent drunkenness and that the couple should consider a drinks package with a security guard to monitor guests' alcohol consumption. Others pointed out that the gesture might come across as inhospitable, overshadowing other aspects of the wedding.

So, is it really tacky to have guests pay for their own drinks at a wedding? The answer isn't straightforward and can depend on cultural expectations, the social circle of the bride and groom, and the overall atmosphere they wish to create. In some circles, an open bar is seen as a non-negotiable element of a wedding reception, while in others, guests might not bat an eyelid at buying their own drinks.

For our readers at the Seniors Discount Club, you've likely seen many wedding trends come and go. You understand that the essence of a wedding is the union of two people in love, not the extravagance of the event. However, it's also true that weddings are social occasions, and the way they are hosted can leave a lasting impression.


If you're planning a wedding and are concerned about costs or overindulgence, there are a few strategies you could consider:
  • Limited Open Bar: Offer a selection of free drinks for a limited time or in limited quantity, such as beer and wine, and then switch to a cash bar later in the evening.
  • Drink Tickets: Provide each guest with a set number of drink tickets to use, which can help control the amount of alcohol consumed.
  • Signature Cocktails: Serve one or two signature drinks for free, which can be a fun and cost-effective option.
  • Dry Wedding: Opt for a completely alcohol-free wedding, which eliminates the issue altogether and can be a unique choice that reflects the couple's values.
Ultimately, the decision on whether to charge for drinks at a wedding should be made by the couple, taking into consideration their budget, their guests, and the type of celebration they want to host. It's important to communicate any decisions clearly to guests ahead of time to avoid any surprises or misunderstandings on the big day.

Key Takeaways

  • An unnamed bride has been criticised online for deciding to have a cash bar at her wedding.
  • The bride expressed concern over 'terrible drunks' in her family abusing a free bar but didn't want to appear 'cheap' to her guests.
  • Commenters on Reddit strongly reacted to her decision, suggesting alternative solutions to her problem with alcohol at the wedding.
  • Despite planning to provide two bottles of wine per table during dinner, many still branded the cash bar decision as 'tacky' and predicted it would negatively stand out in guests' memories.
We'd love to hear from our readers on this topic. Have you been to a wedding with a cash bar? What did you think? Or if you've hosted a wedding recently, how did you handle the cost of drinks? Share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below!
 

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In my opinion, weddings nowadays seem to be all about who spent the most, all competing against their family & friends, it’s all about show & not the celebration of a couples love for one another. Many I’ve been to just have beer & wine free & you pay for spirits. It’s entirely up to the couple & if the guests don’t like it, don’t go.
 
Back in the day it used to be that the toasts were included with the meal, and the first drink at the bar was free. Can't see any problem in reverting to this. Too much of who can do better than the last wedding nowadays that sometimes the purpose of the day is lost to oneupmanship!
 
You don’t charge guests! You just don’t. You invited them,they’re your guests,you provide for them. You can,however,opt out of serving booze altogether or make it an alcohol byo. Just don’t charge your guests. Tacky behaviour.
 
Weddings are so horrifically expensive when people are struggling to buy homes and even just survive. I've attended weddings in other countries where the wedding breakfast is only attending by immediate family, and everyone else goes to a restaurant/bar at their own expense with the happy couple in the evening to help them celebrate. Makes a lot more sense to me.
 
You don't go to a wedding to drink as much alcohol as you can. If the celebration includes wine and beer and soft drink per table and then some champagne for the Guests to toast with then that should be enough for the average wedding. One could soften the arrangement by asking for no gifts. My reasons for this....the current economic situation, the bride and groom often have all they need, and are often saving for a house deposit. Some guests just can't control themselves and make a glutton of themselves on free food and drinks. Drunk guests leave a far worse impression than a cash bar. If the families are wealthy then they can have what they want. For the other 90% of us, this arrangement would be perfectly acceptable and understandle. Weddings and receptions are a celebration of love not a show of wealth that would break most parents banks!
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I wouldn’t have a problem with paying for my own drinks. Weddings are expensive. I guess if they request a wishing well instead of gifts then that would cover the cost of drinks. Either way I’d go with the flow
 
Charging guests for drinks is VERY tacky. Dont do it.
But we were recently invited to a wedding which said "adults only", definitely no children. So we wont be going as we are carers for two of our grandchildren and no way can we leave them behind
So you don’t only want free dinner and drinks but also the same for children. People are not made of money and the cost of catering is over the top. I think they will be pleased not to have too many guests.
 
Yes, it's marvellous, those who love to drink alcohol if free seem to guzzle it down very quickly instead of eating, so I think a specific amount should be put on the bar & once finished they should be made to pay. You'll soon see who the meanies are, they leave the Wedding early.
 
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Didn't have that problem many years ago when two of our daughters married. The receptions were small & alcoholic drinks weren't as expensive. When a third daughter married many of the people didn't expect alcohol because it was a Salvation Army Wedding & guests like my father & mother, ex son-in-law & sister (who just couldn't do without their grog for one night), bought their own in an Esky, unbeknown to us.

We have been to Weddings where a Bar Tab was set by the Bride & Groom which worked well for guests. The bride & groom could keep an eye on how the limit was going through the evening & raise it if necessary.
 
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No I’ve never been to a cash bar wedding. But I have been to one which provided wine with the meal and then a limit on bar drinks. I think this is reasonable
 
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So do you take your grandchildren to such celebrations? I would have thought it was more appropriate for them to attend with their parents
 
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So do you take your grandchildren to such celebrations? I would have thought it was more appropriate for them to attend with their parents
When one of our daughters married one of her sisters bought her children (our grandchildren) along to the occassion. They had a feed & went to sleep on the floor, despite the music. Why shouldn't they be involved?
 
Charging guests for drinks is VERY tacky. Dont do it.
But we were recently invited to a wedding which said "adults only", definitely no children. So we wont be going as we are carers for two of our grandchildren and no way can we leave them behind
My ex brother in law stipulated no children, we couldn't leave our then 4 year old daughter with anyone as everyone we knew were busy on a Saturday night and they had no grandparents so we brought her with us.
The reception was at their house and fully catered so our girl spent the night in the kitchen with the catering staff, they loved her and spoilt her rotten with all the food they were creating.
But I hated doing that, I wanted her with us.
 
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