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'I'll never be your mum': A mother-in-law’s blunt remark has sparked debate—is she in the wrong?
AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Slow_throwaway_8233:
Am I being unreasonable for telling my daughter-in-law that I will never be her mother and to leave me alone?
'This is mostly about my daughter-in-law (Kat). Her mother ran out on her when she was a child, and she went into foster care. According to my son, she’s currently seeing a therapist.'
'My issue with Kat is that she has repeatedly stomped on my boundaries. She’s a very touchy person, she refuses to call me by my name and only refers to me as “Mum.” I correct her every time since I’m not comfortable being called “Mum” by her, and I want her to use my name.'
'There have been multiple times where she’s asked inappropriate questions, mostly about why I’m not close to my own mother. (For context, my mother was horrible) Kat keeps pushing for details and insists I should get closer to her because “family sticks together.” She basically tells me to forgive my mum, and she doesn’t understand not being close with one’s parents. I’ve told her to drop the topic multiple times, and she refuses. Because of all this, I’m not a huge fan of hers.'
'I’ve spoken to my son about it, and he asked me to be patient. I’ve also talked to Kat multiple times and asked her to respect my boundaries. She always says she will, but then goes right back to ignoring them.'
'This is where I might be the j***: My daughter Sam (20) and I are taking a weekend trip. Sam has medical issue and needs to see a specialist in a different city. She hasn’t disclosed the issue to the rest of the family yet (she plans to when she has a firm plan).'
'Somehow, word about the trip got back to Kat, and she called me asking why she wasn’t invited. I told her it’s an important trip and not a fun one. She accused me of lying, claiming it was a “mother-daughter” trip that she was excluded from. I told her again, 'this is not a girls’ trip. She wouldn’t let it go and started demanding that she come, saying that she’s my daughter and needs to be there. I said no again. She kept insisting, saying I am her “mum”and she has to come on this trip since is my kid.'
'That’s when I snapped. I told her I will never be her mother. Just because she married my son does not make me her parent. I told her to leave me the f*** alone and that even if this was a mother-daughter trip, she still wouldn’t be invited, because she isn’t my kid. I then hung up.'
'My son says I need to apologise and invite her. That I am a huge d*** to her. That I was way out of line and need to make it up to Kat. The situation has spread to the rest of the family, and everyone seems to have their own opinion. Sam is getting flack too, which isn’t helping especially since she doesn’t want to disclose the reason for the trip yet.'
'Am I being an unreasonable and need to apologise even though those are my true feelings on her trying to make me her parent?'
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