[Luckyus]

How To Offend Everyone​

My dad worked on the roadworks for twenty years before he got fired for stealing! At first I didn't believe it.... but when I got home all the signs were there.

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I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blow jobs and smoking weed.
She was known as oral high Jean.

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A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer. I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick.

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My girlfriend says that a small penis won’t affect our relationship. whether she's right or not, I'd prefer it if she didn't have one at all!

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A woman is walking down the street and sees a sign in the pet shop window reading, "FANNY LICKING FROG £25". Curious, the woman proceeds inside and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the fanny licking frog please." To which the shop keeper replies, "Bonjour!"

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My son asked me today "What's the difference between a crow and a blackbird?" I told him, "Crows have somewhat heavier beaks, fan shaped tails and live on insects. A blackbird has big rubbery lips, a fat arse and lives on benefits."

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Everyone's a comedian nowadays.
Even the paramedic who was unable to resuscitate Whitney couldn't avoid a gag!
When he radioed dispatch and said "It's Houston , we have a problem!"