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How Many Christians Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb
Charistmatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and three committees to approve the change plus decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to wrote a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?