[Vinylted]

Groaner Alert​

Constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young
husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then
arranging to have her killed.


A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side
underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to
the husband that his going price for snuffing out of a spouse was $10,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he
wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up
front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin
that rested inside.

Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the
dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Coles.

There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to
strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman
drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the
produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene.

Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice
but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by
the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard,
who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested
before he could even leave the premises.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the
whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with
the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared.




"ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Coles

 

[Defiant540]

brilliant!