[Skipton]

Give Me Eighty​

When God created the cow, He said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed.
When God created the dog, He said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."
So, God agreed (sigh).
When God created the monkey, He said, "Entertain people, do some tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed again (heavy sigh).
When God created man, He said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren and for the last ten years we sit around the house and bark at everybody.
Life has now been explained.