[Skipton]

Funny But True!​

I used to be able to do cartwheels. Now I trip over putting on my underwear.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... so she hugged me.


My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don't listen and something else....


I thought growing old would take longer.


I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps, got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what's going on.


The officer said, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" We just laughed and laughed....I need bail money.


Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.


The adult version of "head, shoulders, knees and toes" is "wallet, glasses, keys and phone."


Life is too short to waste time matching socks.


If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I'm self-employed and I'm having a staff meeting.

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.

Some people call me crazy. I prefer happy with a twist.

I really don't mind getting old, but my body is having a major fit.

Measure once, cuss twice..

THINK! (It's not illegal.... YET)

The world's best antidepressant has 4 legs, a wagging tail and comes with unconditional love.

Love is how excited your dog gets when you come home.

I've reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

If you're happy and you know it, it's your medications.

 

[Sethia Soliman]

You really are the joke master! Great lineup today!

 

[Kangakiwi]

You might like this one. Two wrongs do not make a right but two Wrights made an aeroplane