From the Experts: NARCISSISTS, PSYCHOPATHS AND SOCIOPATHS

Note from the Editor:
This article was written for the SDC by psychologist and member @Jan A. Jan A. works part-time, taking on clients under the Medicare Mental Health Care Plans. She works with people of all ages, from children to seniors!

In this article, we will look at the dark side of human personality in the form of narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths.

It does not occur to the majority of the population that these people exist among us in our everyday lives, but the fact is that they are there. When we know more about them, we can spot them and protect ourselves from the damage these people inevitably cause to those around them.



Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder occurs in about 6.2 per cent of the population. It is an essential feature of both psychopaths and sociopaths. The condition is characterised by self-centredness, lack of empathy and an exaggerated grandiose sense of self-importance. Narcissism is an enduring and persistent pattern of behaviour affecting social, family and work relationships. Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of their own importance, abilities and achievements. Because of their belief in their superiority, breaking the rules is of little concern to narcissists.

Narcissists have a constant need for attention and praise. They believe they are 'special' and should associate only with others of the same special status. They have a sense of entitlement and an expectation of special treatment. They seek admirers; they do not have equals. They have persistent fantasies about attaining power, success and wealth. They have ideas that they were 'born to rule'. They tolerate no disagreement.


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Image Credit: Shutterstock



Narcissists are envious of others and believe that others are envious of the narcissist. They exploit other people for personal gain. They feel no obligation to help anyone, even having received help from others.

Narcissists do not seek help because they do not acknowledge there is anything wrong with them. Therapy would seek to create a more realistic self-image by altering the distorted narcissistic thoughts, such as their belief in their own grandiosity, power and destiny. However, it is difficult for you to persuade a narcissist that they are not more important than others when they believe they are more important than you!



Similarities of Psychopaths & Sociopaths
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I have a very close family member who no matter what subject you talk about the person will make it about them. Example l have said at 61 l did not think l would have the health issues l have. I can't just get up and walk or get in the car and do as l use to. I accept my situation totally, but sometimes it hits me and l might make the passing comment about what l have lost. This person will come back with well l didn't think at my life l would be like this at my age. The person in question is 81 and has had a wonderful life. At my age was travelling all around Australia and overseas. No money worries a happy healthy life with a loving partner. Now with older age and this persons spouse getting older slower and not the same person. The other person feels let down. I do gently remind the person in question better for worse sickness and health.
It does not matter what subject l bring up this person makes it about them. It's dreadfully frustrating. I bite my tongue. But sometimes l gently have to say something. I believe this person who l love very much is a narrastistic personality.
Kind regards to all Vicki
 
Narcissist, describes my ex husband perfectly.
So manipulative, so cunning.
I loved this guy so much, too much, he had me wrapped around his little finger until I felt I wasn't even me anymore.
I wasted twelve years of my life before I fled from this situation, before I really woke up to what was going on.
As the article says if you are involved with someone like this "run for your life".
They don't love you, they are too busy loving themselves.
 
Narcissist, describes my ex husband perfectly.
So manipulative, so cunning.
I loved this guy so much, too much, he had me wrapped around his little finger until I felt I wasn't even me anymore.
I wasted twelve years of my life before I fled from this situation, before I really woke up to what was going on.
As the article says if you are involved with someone like this "run for your life".
They don't love you, they are too busy loving themselves.
I am so glad you are living your best life now. My daughter experienced same. I admire your courage and strength.
Kind regards Vicki
 
Oh, yes, I married one. He was a liar, a thief and an alcoholic, would even lie when asked what time it was, also a womaniser; told o e woman hewas unmarried but had a daughter by a woman who allowed him to visit her, this was after I kicked him out and started divorce proceedings. He then told my daughter that he had a new home with a room specially decorated for her so she could live with him, but didn't turn up to take her to live in his other woman's home to the room that had been her daughter's.

It was a life of lies and I can spot a lie immediately, even the so-called little white ones.
You are so right about running, I ran to Australia, the most distance I could put between him and my children. It took many years but eventually my children realised what he was.

Thank you for posting this article. I hope it is spread wide where younger people can read it before it's too late for them.
 
I have always said the worst thing the world ever did was shutting down all the Mental Asylums
You are so right, it was just a money saving decision.
Saying that people are better off at home being looked after by family is just ridiculous. Your average everyday person is not capable of handling these complex issues.
My ex also had bipolar as well as being narcissistic. I had to have him committed on three separate occasions, each time he was released before he should have been. On one of these occasions, on the night of his release, he had a knife at my throat and I am still not sure how I survived that night. He was committed again and I took that opportunity to leave.
A few years later, again after being released too early, he committed suicide.
How many people have died because of people with mental health issues. These issues are not their fault, they need "professional" help.
We do not expect family members to look after other family members with life threatening health problems, they go to hospital.
Why are people with mental health problems, which can be life threatening to themselves as well as others, not offered the same help.
Perhaps some of these politicians who make these decisions should try tackling some of these problems themselves before they make their ill informed decisions
 
Narcissist, describes my ex husband perfectly.
So manipulative, so cunning.
I loved this guy so much, too much, he had me wrapped around his little finger until I felt I wasn't even me anymore.
I wasted twelve years of my life before I fled from this situation, before I really woke up to what was going on.
As the article says if you are involved with someone like this "run for your life".
They don't love you, they are too busy loving themselves.
I know how you felt. I was in the same situation, unfortunately it took me a while longer to leave. The whole situation devasted me to the point I have trust issues with pretty much everyone.
 
Oh, yes, I married one. He was a liar, a thief and an alcoholic, would even lie when asked what time it was, also a womaniser; told o e woman hewas unmarried but had a daughter by a woman who allowed him to visit her, this was after I kicked him out and started divorce proceedings. He then told my daughter that he had a new home with a room specially decorated for her so she could live with him, but didn't turn up to take her to live in his other woman's home to the room that had been her daughter's.

It was a life of lies and I can spot a lie immediately, even the so-called little white ones.
You are so right about running, I ran to Australia, the most distance I could put between him and my children. It took many years but eventually my children realised what he was.

Thank you for posting this article. I hope it is spread wide where younger people can read it before it's too late for them.
I truly hope you and your children are living your best life now.

Kind regards Vicki
 
Narcissist, describes my ex husband perfectly.
So manipulative, so cunning.
I loved this guy so much, too much, he had me wrapped around his little finger until I felt I wasn't even me anymore.
I wasted twelve years of my life before I fled from this situation, before I really woke up to what was going on.
As the article says if you are involved with someone like this "run for your life".
They don't love you, they are too busy loving themselves.
 
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Narcissist, describes my ex husband perfectly.
So manipulative, so cunning.
I loved this guy so much, too much, he had me wrapped around his little finger until I felt I wasn't even me anymore.
I wasted twelve years of my life before I fled from this situation, before I really woke up to what was going on.
As the article says if you are involved with someone like this "run for your life".
They don't love you, they are too busy loving themselves.
I believe we have a narcissistic person at our Senior's Centre. For years she caused problems for many people including myself. It was a well known amongst councillors & head office staff that many problems existed under her leadership. A few years ago she was moved sideways to a position with no contact with the public & the centre runs much smoother now.
 
Thanks, you just confirmed what I always thought my partner was. Nobody believed me what he was like when we were alone. In company, charming, caring, witty....alone he was self centred, a liar, mentally abusive, lacked any form of caring or showing compassion, thought he was above anybody, never took responsibility, refused to accept he ever did anything wrong and above all he thought he was entitled, superior and just did not care what anyone thought about him.
 
Thanks, you just confirmed what I always thought my partner was. Nobody believed me what he was like when we were alone. In company, charming, caring, witty....alone he was self centred, a liar, mentally abusive, lacked any form of caring or showing compassion, thought he was above anybody, never took responsibility, refused to accept he ever did anything wrong and above all he thought he was entitled, superior and just did not care what anyone thought about him.
I sympathize with you. This would be very hard to live with, enduring constant put downs & made to feel inferior to him.
This is similar to what l endured at our Seniors Centre. She always expected certain weekly tasks to be done for regular sessions by me as a Volunteer there.
 
I must send this article to my son who worked in the States for 37 as a psychologist and is no working here as a counsellor.
 

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