From the Experts: NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER: ‘IT’S ALL ABOUT ME’
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This article was written for the SDC by psychologist and member @Jan A. Jan A. works part-time, taking on clients under the Medicare Mental Health Care Plans. She works with people of all ages, from children to seniors!
Do you know someone who acts as if the world revolves around them?
Do you sense this person does not care about anyone else but themselves?
Do they turn any conversation around to talk about themselves?
If you tell them you are ill, do they tell you how much more ill they are or have been?
If you talk about achieving something at work, do they look resentful or dismissive instead of being supportive and happy for you?
Do they expect help from you if they need it? If you ask for help, are they likely to make comments like 'Why is everything about you?'
If you mention a family member is doing well, they immediately counter with how much better their family members are doing.
Do they constantly brag about their own successes?
Do they seek excessive praise?
Do they talk about a grand future awaiting them?
Do they take credit for your work?
Do they lie about anything and everything to make themselves look better?
Are they never at fault, always blaming someone else?
Do they seek admiration from everyone associated with them?
Do they seek relationships with people they perceive as superior to them while avoiding people they perceive as inferior to them?
If you recognise someone in this description, you are likely to be dealing with a narcissist. Narcissism is named after Narcissus from ancient Greek mythology. Narcissus was a particularly beautiful young man who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water with tragic results. This kind of malignant self-love is the perfect description for a narcissist.
A common, pervasive mental and emotional disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterised by self-centredness, demand for admiration, lack of empathy and a grandiose sense of self-importance often accompanied by low self-esteem. This disorder is more common in males. It is always present in sociopaths and psychopaths. One can be a narcissist without being a psychopath or sociopath, but one cannot be a psychopath or sociopath without also being a narcissist. The connection was described in my article on Psychopaths and Sociopaths. This article goes into more detail about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
As with other personality disorders, narcissism is an enduring and persistent pattern of behaviour that negatively impacts many different life areas, including social, family, and work relationships. Narcissists do not seek help because they do not acknowledge there is anything wrong with them. If they are convicted of committing a crime, they may be court-ordered for therapy. Any therapy would seek to alter the distorted narcissistic thoughts (grandiosity, power, destiny) and create a more realistic self-image. However, it is problematic to persuade a narcissist that they are not the entitled, superior, enviable, fabulous creatures they believe they are.
Most individuals will have encountered narcissists. All narcissists demand attention. Everything is about them. Conversations that are not about them are not of interest to the narcissist, and they will make every effort to turn the conversation to be about them in some way. They expect others to be fascinated by every little detail of the narcissist’s life, but they are not at all interested in anyone else’s life.
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