Note from the Editor:
This article was written for the SDC by psychologist and member @Jan A. Jan A. works part-time, taking on clients under the Medicare Mental Health Care Plans. She works with people of all ages, from children to seniors!

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a largely misunderstood condition. The condition is also known as ‘Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder’.

Those around a BPD person are confused and on edge, not knowing when or why the BPD person might become angry and abusive. They feel they are 'walking on eggshells' to keep the BPD person from exploding into a violent rage or threatening suicide.



The book I Hate You: Don’t Leave Me gives an excellent summary of BPD on its title page:

• Violent mood swings
• Chronic depression
• Self-destructive tendencies

One of the main defining features of this condition is a persistent fear of abandonment. They fear they will die if someone leaves them. High in self-blame, they believe abandonment implies they are bad, and they may engage in self-mutilation to relieve a sense of being unworthy. BPD is a dangerous condition. People with BPD frequently attempt suicide, and 8-10% of those succeed.



They tend to idealise people in their relationships. If the BPD person believes people they care about let them down in some way, they will angrily accuse the other of not loving them or doing enough for them. They limit social or family contact for others to keep them focused on the BPD person and prevent anyone else from encouraging their loved one to leave. Unexpected changes to plans, e.g. someone is late, cause the BPD person to become distressed, seeing the changes as some kind of disparagement and rejection.

They may harm themselves to promote guilt in others, persuading them that if they leave and the BPD person commits suicide, it will be the other person’s fault. The BPD person swings from love to hate. If the loved one lets down the BPD person in some way, even if they are not aware they are doing so, the BPD person becomes enraged, abusive and even violent.

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