Content Warning: This article discusses sensitive topics related to parenting, mental health struggles, and the emotional toll of parenthood, which may be distressing to some. Reader discretion is advised.

Navigating the complex waters of parenthood can be a tumultuous journey, filled with unexpected challenges and profound moments of joy. However, for one mother, the voyage took a heart-wrenching turn when her fiancé made a shocking confession about their son that left her questioning the very foundation of their relationship.

The mother, who chose to remain anonymous, shared her story on Reddit, seeking advice from the online community after her partner of nearly eight years and father to their seven-month-old baby boy admitted to having regrets about becoming a parent. The couple's relationship, which had seemed flawless up until the birth of their child, was suddenly cast into doubt by this startling revelation.

Their son, described as having been colicky for the first four months of his life due to multiple food allergies, required constant attention and care, which can be a significant strain on any new parent. Despite the difficulties, the mother's love for her child was unwavering, and she expressed that she wouldn't change a thing about her son.

A mum shared her heartbreak on social media after her fiancé confessed he regretted having their seven-month-old son. Credit: Facebook / Village for mama

The conversation that sparked her concern occurred during a hypothetical discussion about what would happen if she were to pass away. Her fiancé's response, that he would put their son up for adoption, haunted her for months. It was a subsequent comment, however, that truly shook her: 'If there was one word to describe my feelings towards him, it would be regret.'

This admission left the mother heartbroken and contemplating whether she had chosen the wrong partner, someone who didn't share her enthusiasm and love for their child. The idea of her son having a father who harbored such feelings was devastating to her.

The Reddit post ignited a fierce debate among users, with some encouraging the woman to stay in the relationship and work through the issues, while others advised her to consider leaving for the well-being of herself and her child. Many pointed to the possibility of postpartum depression (PPD) affecting the father, a condition that is often overlooked in men but can have serious implications for the entire family.

Comments from the online community ranged from empathetic to critical, with some sharing their own experiences of the intense pressures of new parenthood and the dark thoughts that can accompany it. Others were less forgiving, condemning the father's lack of connection with his child and suggesting that the mother deserves better.

The situation highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing mental health issues like PPD in both mothers and fathers. It also underscores the need for open communication and support within a partnership, especially during the transformative and often overwhelming experience of raising a newborn.

For our readers at the Seniors Discount Club, this story may resonate with your own experiences as parents or grandparents. It's a reminder of the complexities of family dynamics and the critical role that empathy and understanding play in nurturing healthy relationships.

We invite you to share your thoughts and wisdom on this delicate matter. How would you advise someone in a similar situation? Have you or someone you know faced challenges with PPD or regrets about parenthood? Your insights could provide comfort or guidance to those grappling with these difficult emotions.

Key Takeaways

• A mother has shared her heartbreak on Reddit after her fiancé made the shocking admission he 'regrets' having their seven-month-old son.
• The distressed mum detailed their relationship of nearly eight years and noted the tough period after their colicky child was born.
• Social media users responded to her post, with many suggesting the father may be experiencing postpartum depression (PPD) and advising support, while others recommended reconsidering the relationship.
• The discussion highlighted the importance of recognising PPD in fathers and the challenges faced during the newborn stage, as well as the varying opinions on the fiancé's distressing remarks.

Let's open up the conversation and support one another through the highs and lows of the parenting journey. Your comments are not only welcome but could be a beacon of hope for those feeling lost at sea.

 

[Shellface]

Maybe dad's feeling " left out". Wanting his wife back all to himself.
Can't cope with the baby taking her time and energy ...the selfish type

 

[Toni Wrinkles]

I have seen this over the years, although they don't say it, quite a few men have feelings like this, I remember my husband saying it about our youngest daughter because I left her with him 1 night to go out with my sister in law for a break at our RSL as my Dad was an official there, we lived in walking distance anyway I gets a call to the phone (no mobs back then) off I went home worried sick, walked in and his comment Shut that kid up we should never have had her, all my hackles rose up and I tore into her cot and picked her up yep she was wet, moment I picked her up though she stopped crying, I asked him did he pick her up he said it wouldn't have made any difference, I held MY BABY very very close and got her back to sleep along with her 17mth old sister and asked my two sons from previous marriage to ring me if she woke again, and I went back to the club for two hours, my baby was 18mths old before I went out again with my eldest son the babysitter he was 15yrs by then, I am a watcher and in the intervening time I worked out it wasn't the baby he didn't like it was the fact he needed to look after her, it interfered with his and his brother's nights out gambling. Not all are like mine (thank God). But the crying wears on their nerves plus he can see that you and he cannot do as much as you used to together and he is feeling left out, I am sorry that you were hurt but maybe he will change as the baby gets to goo and gar at him..........good luck sweetie

 

[electricblanket]

Time to reassess the relationship

 

[magpie1]

Having a young child with colic, may have been a factor that disturbed this new Father also....having your first child is an eye opener for many as to how much it can affect a relationships prior way of living. It's a big learning curve for many who may have had not very much involvement with other peoples new born children for instance.....I hope that he changes his attitude as time goes on and learns to love his son with undivided devotion.....it's a wonderful experience, I know that I would not change the way I feel about my only child, my son, for an eternity.

 

[BellaB18]

When my sister gave birth to her second child a son, she was suffering postnatal depression. We lived in different states and territories of Australia at the time. The plan was for me to go stay for the first two weeks of bub home coming and help my sister as l did when she had her first child. The day l was leaving l bent over and unbeknown to me l slipped a disk in my lower back. I knew l had done something really bad as the pain was unbelievable and l could hardly walk and was as twisted as a cork screw. I got on a plane and arrived at my sister's in complete agony. Only to find she was a complete mess mentally. Poor darling was not coping with the new baby not bonding. He would not latch on to be breast fed. I can only think he was picking up on his mother's distress. He would not settle. I sent my brother in law out to buy baby formula and bottles. From that moment on l fed my nephew and he bounded with me. The health centre sister visited a few days in and was not happy about the bottle feeding.
I told her. Look l know you all believe breast is best and for bonding bla blah. Well this baby won't be breast fed it's not mums decision he just won't latch on and mum is struggling. And as for bonding. I went onto say. My son was born with a cleft lip and palate l could not breast feed him and we had an unbreakable bond when he was a baby little boy. I don't think she liked me much.
Over the two weeks l stayed to this day. l don't know how l cared for a new born a three year old a sister who was full of anxiety and postnatal depression and did all the washing ironing and house work. We got through it. It was the hardest thing l had to do was leave her. Knowing she was struggling so badly. When my nephew was two years old l brought him back home with me to give my sister a break. Sadly she still had not bonded with him. During my visit when he was first born l sent my sister to the dr. She was diagnosed with postnatal depression. To this day she is still on medication. Her son is in his late twenties as is so very excited about the fact he is going to become a dad for the first time next month.
He and l have a beautiful bond. He use to sleep with a photo of him and l under his pillow when he was a little boy. Bless him. His mother has a bad habit of saying. Oh yes you always thought Aunty Vicki was your mother you little S...T. uncalled for on so many levels. But l suppose that is her way. Thankfully as time went on my sister fell in love with her son just like her daughter. Funny her son has a lot of his mother's personality. Where as her daughter is her father. My sister's now ex husband. I never judged my sister my heart broke for her and her son. To this day l don't know what went wrong. But in hindsight l do wonder if my sister might have been happier not marrying and having a family. Sadly she seems a woman who cannot find true happiness. And is now with a man, who l believe she is with because, she doesn't want to be alone. She is always bossy towards him and has confided there is no romance. Sadly she gave her husband nothing in the end either and he looked elsewhere.
Even now with the up and coming birth of her first grandchild she doesn't seem very excited. I am sure once she holds the child for the first time she will melt with love.
I don't have the answers, but maybe some people just cannot bond with a child even if it is there own. My step father once said my sister was like an animal. Has the babies then at a certain age let's them go. Does not want the life long responsibility that comes with parenting.
I truly hope this couple can seek help. Or maybe the couple should go in separate ways. If dad is not bonding and not able to love the child best to go because the child will always feel it.
I don't know l don't have the answers to such a sad dilemma.
I love my children and grandchildren warts and all. I know they are not perfect and make mistakes. But l am always here for them and let them know if l disapprove of something.
We are meant to bond instantly with our children but for some it's just not possible for what ever reasons. I don't think it is anyones place to judge and be critical of. Maybe to be understanding and supportive and encouraging the person to seek help.
Kind regards to all Vicki

 

[Still Ebby]

She picked the wrong guy. My husband was a great dad to our five children and was very capable of looking after them but l was never one for going to clubs anyway. The only child that nearly drove me bonkers was Debra who woke us up every hour wanting to be fed. She wouldn't drink the full amount then woke up again an hour later.

 

[BellaB18]

She picked the wrong guy. My husband was a great dad to our five children and was very capable of looking after them but l was never one for going to clubs anyway. The only child that nearly drove me bonkers was Debra who woke us up every hour wanting to be fed. She wouldn't drink the full amount then woke up again an hour later.

Bless Debra

 

[Sherril54]

When my sister gave birth to her second child a son, she was suffering postnatal depression. We lived in different states and territories of Australia at the time. The plan was for me to go stay for the first two weeks of bub home coming and help my sister as l did when she had her first child. The day l was leaving l bent over and unbeknown to me l slipped a disk in my lower back. I knew l had done something really bad as the pain was unbelievable and l could hardly walk and was as twisted as a cork screw. I got on a plane and arrived at my sister's in complete agony. Only to find she was a complete mess mentally. Poor darling was not coping with the new baby not bonding. He would not latch on to be breast fed. I can only think he was picking up on his mother's distress. He would not settle. I sent my brother in law out to buy baby formula and bottles. From that moment on l fed my nephew and he bounded with me. The health centre sister visited a few days in and was not happy about the bottle feeding.
I told her. Look l know you all believe breast is best and for bonding bla blah. Well this baby won't be breast fed it's not mums decision he just won't latch on and mum is struggling. And as for bonding. I went onto say. My son was born with a cleft lip and palate l could not breast feed him and we had an unbreakable bond when he was a baby little boy. I don't think she liked me much.
Over the two weeks l stayed to this day. l don't know how l cared for a new born a three year old a sister who was full of anxiety and postnatal depression and did all the washing ironing and house work. We got through it. It was the hardest thing l had to do was leave her. Knowing she was struggling so badly. When my nephew was two years old l brought him back home with me to give my sister a break. Sadly she still had not bonded with him. During my visit when he was first born l sent my sister to the dr. She was diagnosed with postnatal depression. To this day she is still on medication. Her son is in his late twenties as is so very excited about the fact he is going to become a dad for the first time next month.
He and l have a beautiful bond. He use to sleep with a photo of him and l under his pillow when he was a little boy. Bless him. His mother has a bad habit of saying. Oh yes you always thought Aunty Vicki was your mother you little S...T. uncalled for on so many levels. But l suppose that is her way. Thankfully as time went on my sister fell in love with her son just like her daughter. Funny her son has a lot of his mother's personality. Where as her daughter is her father. My sister's now ex husband. I never judged my sister my heart broke for her and her son. To this day l don't know what went wrong. But in hindsight l do wonder if my sister might have been happier not marrying and having a family. Sadly she seems a woman who cannot find true happiness. And is now with a man, who l believe she is with because, she doesn't want to be alone. She is always bossy towards him and has confided there is no romance. Sadly she gave her husband nothing in the end either and he looked elsewhere.
Even now with the up and coming birth of her first grandchild she doesn't seem very excited. I am sure once she holds the child for the first time she will melt with love.
I don't have the answers, but maybe some people just cannot bond with a child even if it is there own. My step father once said my sister was like an animal. Has the babies then at a certain age let's them go. Does not want the life long responsibility that comes with parenting.
I truly hope this couple can seek help. Or maybe the couple should go in separate ways. If dad is not bonding and not able to love the child best to go because the child will always feel it.
I don't know l don't have the answers to such a sad dilemma.
I love my children and grandchildren warts and all. I know they are not perfect and make mistakes. But l am always here for them and let them know if l disapprove of something.
We are meant to bond instantly with our children but for some it's just not possible for what ever reasons. I don't think it is anyones place to judge and be critical of. Maybe to be understanding and supportive and encouraging the person to seek help.
Kind regards to all Vicki

Some people are not suited to parenthood, life definitely changes, you can no longer put youself first and have some big big responsibilites, this can be a real test especially with your first child. My first husband changed dramatically when our daughter arrived, he began to withdraw from both of us, I remember finding the whole process a challenge and was feeling like a duck out of water. However pulled myself together, but he did not. He became more and more distant in fact had very little to do with his daughter. In the end he started to become quite violent towards me, I was 21 yrs at the time he was 22 yrs. Our daughter was 18 months old when I fled this mess. She has only recently turned 50 yrs, her father has never reached out to her, and never had any more children. I`d like to add that she is married with 2 children, my grandchildren, happily married, but I sense she misses having a loving father, her father. I`m so pround of her and her lovely family, he does not know what he has missed out on!!!

 

[Still Ebby]

Bless Debra

l still loved her but l was so tired and having two other ones to see to. l suppose l should have let her cry till the next three hour feed as suggested by someone but l couldn't do that.She was ok after about a couple of months

 

[BellaB18]

Some people are not suited to parenthood, life definitely changes, you can no longer put youself first and have some big big responsibilites, this can be a real test especially with your first child. My first husband changed dramatically when our daughter arrived, he began to withdraw from both of us, I remember finding the whole process a challenge and was feeling like a duck out of water. However pulled myself together, but he did not. He became more and more distant in fact had very little to do with his daughter. In the end he started to become quite violent towards me, I was 21 yrs at the time he was 22 yrs. Our daughter was 18 months old when I fled this mess. She has only recently turned 50 yrs, her father has never reached out to her, and never had any more children. I`d like to add that she is married with 2 children, my grandchildren, happily married, but I sense she misses having a loving father, her father. I`m so pround of her and her lovely family, he does not know what he has missed out on!!!

So true every word you have just said. Yes your ex husband has missed out on so much. Sounds like he was very young at the time and was not ready for the responsibilities that come with being parents. And in not having any more children just shows he wasn't meant to be a parent. Thank goodness for you. You have done an awesome job with your daughter. I am so glad she has gone on to find the love of her life and had her own beautiful children.
Like you we were very young when we had our children. I was 20 and 22 my husband was 24 and 26 would not have changed it for anything.
Kind regards Vicki

 

[BellaB18]

You did an awesome job. Why would anyone let a hungry baby cry???
Kind regards Vicki

 

[Sherril54]

So true every word you have just said. Yes your ex husband has missed out on so much. Sounds like he was very young at the time and was not ready for the responsibilities that come with being parents. And in not having any more children just shows he wasn't meant to be a parent. Thank goodness for you. You have done an awesome job with your daughter. I am so glad she has gone on to find the love of her life and had her own beautiful children.
Like you we were very young when we had our children. I was 20 and 22 my husband was 24 and 26 would not have changed it for anything.
Kind regards Vicki

Thanks, it is a bitter sweet experience. I personally don`t know that I have ever fully recovered, thankfully it has not seriously impacted on her life which did have me worried.

 

[Sherril54]

You did an awesome job. Why would anyone let a hungry baby cry???
Kind regards Vicki

They seem to have a cruel streak or they have never grown up!!

 

[Still Ebby]

You did an awesome job. Why would anyone let a hungry baby cry???
Kind regards Vicki

l can honestly say l never ever have let my babies cry .Babies don't cry for nothing .
l remember in Kmart Katomba there was this baby in a pram and four women around it talking completely oblivious to it's distressful cries .l went up to them asking about the baby but they still didn't do anything. Then another woman spoke to them too and they finally left.

 

[Iggydi]

I had a colicky first child. It is so frustrating when you can't help the poor little ones. My 2nd was so easy and we didn't even know that he had teeth. I feel for the poor love having a colicky child. It's not fun

 

[Still Ebby]

When my sister gave birth to her second child a son, she was suffering postnatal depression. We lived in different states and territories of Australia at the time. The plan was for me to go stay for the first two weeks of bub home coming and help my sister as l did when she had her first child. The day l was leaving l bent over and unbeknown to me l slipped a disk in my lower back. I knew l had done something really bad as the pain was unbelievable and l could hardly walk and was as twisted as a cork screw. I got on a plane and arrived at my sister's in complete agony. Only to find she was a complete mess mentally. Poor darling was not coping with the new baby not bonding. He would not latch on to be breast fed. I can only think he was picking up on his mother's distress. He would not settle. I sent my brother in law out to buy baby formula and bottles. From that moment on l fed my nephew and he bounded with me. The health centre sister visited a few days in and was not happy about the bottle feeding.
I told her. Look l know you all believe breast is best and for bonding bla blah. Well this baby won't be breast fed it's not mums decision he just won't latch on and mum is struggling. And as for bonding. I went onto say. My son was born with a cleft lip and palate l could not breast feed him and we had an unbreakable bond when he was a baby little boy. I don't think she liked me much.
Over the two weeks l stayed to this day. l don't know how l cared for a new born a three year old a sister who was full of anxiety and postnatal depression and did all the washing ironing and house work. We got through it. It was the hardest thing l had to do was leave her. Knowing she was struggling so badly. When my nephew was two years old l brought him back home with me to give my sister a break. Sadly she still had not bonded with him. During my visit when he was first born l sent my sister to the dr. She was diagnosed with postnatal depression. To this day she is still on medication. Her son is in his late twenties as is so very excited about the fact he is going to become a dad for the first time next month.
He and l have a beautiful bond. He use to sleep with a photo of him and l under his pillow when he was a little boy. Bless him. His mother has a bad habit of saying. Oh yes you always thought Aunty Vicki was your mother you little S...T. uncalled for on so many levels. But l suppose that is her way. Thankfully as time went on my sister fell in love with her son just like her daughter. Funny her son has a lot of his mother's personality. Where as her daughter is her father. My sister's now ex husband. I never judged my sister my heart broke for her and her son. To this day l don't know what went wrong. But in hindsight l do wonder if my sister might have been happier not marrying and having a family. Sadly she seems a woman who cannot find true happiness. And is now with a man, who l believe she is with because, she doesn't want to be alone. She is always bossy towards him and has confided there is no romance. Sadly she gave her husband nothing in the end either and he looked elsewhere.
Even now with the up and coming birth of her first grandchild she doesn't seem very excited. I am sure once she holds the child for the first time she will melt with love.
I don't have the answers, but maybe some people just cannot bond with a child even if it is there own. My step father once said my sister was like an animal. Has the babies then at a certain age let's them go. Does not want the life long responsibility that comes with parenting.
I truly hope this couple can seek help. Or maybe the couple should go in separate ways. If dad is not bonding and not able to love the child best to go because the child will always feel it.
I don't know l don't have the answers to such a sad dilemma.
I love my children and grandchildren warts and all. I know they are not perfect and make mistakes. But l am always here for them and let them know if l disapprove of something.
We are meant to bond instantly with our children but for some it's just not possible for what ever reasons. I don't think it is anyones place to judge and be critical of. Maybe to be understanding and supportive and encouraging the person to seek help.
Kind regards to all Vick

lt was nice of you to help your sister and the son has turned out to be a happy person because of you. So pat yourself on the back for that.

 

[IAN3005]

All 3 three of my children were perfect... can't remember them crying at all.. as you say... small child does not cry for nothing ... my third son never went into a crib he slept with me in the same bed till he was 10.

 

[BellaB18]

lt was nice of you to help your sister and the son has turned out to be a happy person because of you. So pat yourself on the back for that.

Oh thank you Still Ebby, for your kind words. You will never know how much those kind words mean to me

 

[PattiB]

Parenthood can be so hard for a lot of people. It took me a little while to bond with my son, who is my only child. The nurses said that because he was a few weeks prem I wouldn’t have been ready for his arrival. I wasn’t able to hold him for four days, & then only for a very short time. I left hospital without him which was the strangest feeling, but 4 weeks later he finally came home, which was a bit scary as he was still rather small. He was bottle fed but we certainly bonded, as he was always held while being fed. I would have spent all day cuddling him only I had other stuff to do. My husband was a very hands on dad, & the three of us share an unbreakable bond, which has now extended to include his girlfriend. I think that being a parent isn’t for everyone but it is definitely worth whatever has to be given up. I was 29 when I became a mum so wasn’t that interested in constantly going out, I already done enough of that, so where my husband & I went, baby came too. Good luck to the lady having problems with her husband. He’d have well & truly got an earful if he’d been my husband.