Family feud over gluten-free restaurant choice sparks debate on dietary needs

Navigating the choppy waters of dietary restrictions can often feel like a solo voyage, especially when dining out becomes a group endeavour.

For individuals with specific health-related food requirements, such as those with coeliac disease, the challenge is not only finding suitable menu options but also ensuring that friends and family understand and respect their needs.


Recently, a story surfaced on social media that sparked a widespread debate about the balance between accommodating dietary needs and being considerate of others' preferences and stress levels.

An 18-year-old woman with coeliac disease shared her frustration after her father chose a restaurant that didn't cater to her gluten-free diet.


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An 18-year-old woman with coeliac disease shared her struggles in adjusting to a gluten-free diet, particularly when dining out. Credits: Shutterstock


‘I recently changed my diet and I had to go gluten-free due to a new health development,’ she said.

‘My family has been relatively supportive, but it’s still a hard adjustment to make. I’m not deathly allergic, but I’m in a lot of pain whenever I eat something with gluten in it.’

‘I said I didn’t like the restaurant (he picked) because of its lack of gluten-free options and I suggested other places in town, about eight minutes away by car.’

‘He said he didn’t want to go into town as he was tired and didn’t want to make it into an ‘adventure’ to get me food,’ the woman narrated.


Her father’s response left her ‘upset’, as she felt he wasn’t making any effort to accommodate her dietary needs.

‘I don’t feel like it’s that big of a deal to actually accommodate me, and becoming gluten-free has been really hard on me,’ she lamented.

Her dad then stated it ‘wasn’t an option to go to those places’ and decided he would go with her brother to the nearby restaurant, leaving her behind.

‘After I got mad at this, he said that I don’t care about his stress and that’s fine, we’ll just go wherever I want,’ she recounted.

The woman concluded her post by expressing how ‘really bad’ she felt.

‘He’s been stressed with work, but also, I don’t feel as if it’s that hard to accommodate me, so I’m torn. Am I the a****** for being stubborn in wanting to go to a good gluten-free restaurant?’ she asked.

‘I feel like I am because I’m not being considerate of his stress levels.’


The community was quick to weigh in, with some branding the woman as ‘entitled’ for expecting her family to go out of their way to accommodate her.

‘Kindly, you’re the a*******. Your father offered to take you to a restaurant, you are being entitled in wanting them to accommodate your dietary restrictions—forcing them to drive to a place they don’t want to drive. If you want to get to choose the restaurant, then plan it yourself: don’t hijack other people’s plans,’ one commented.

‘You’re an adult, get your own food. Your dad has enough on his plate,’ another said.

‘“I will just make myself something” is the correct answer. Cook for yourself, your dad didn’t want to cook and also didn’t want to make a trek,’ a third added.

Another one suffering from the same disease shared, ‘I have coeliac disease. The first rule of the gluten-free club is no one has to accommodate you. Your dad didn’t want to go into town. He’s stressed. That’s fair enough. You can cook something yourself or go to the restaurant by yourself. Yes, being gluten-free sucks but it’s up to you to manage it yourself and not expect other people to.’


Navigating dietary restrictions can often lead to difficult conversations and even family disputes, as highlighted in this story.

This struggle is not unique, as many Australians face similar challenges when managing their diets.

Beyond the social tensions, there's also a financial burden, particularly for those dealing with chronic illnesses that require specific dietary needs.

In fact, the hidden costs of adhering to necessary food restrictions are hitting Aussies harder than ever, especially those suffering from diseases that necessitate special diets.
Key Takeaways
  • An 18-year-old woman with coeliac disease expressed difficulty adjusting to a gluten-free diet, especially when dining out.
  • She had a disagreement with her father over his choice of restaurant, which didn't offer sufficient gluten-free options, leading to a feud.
  • Many commenters labelled her as ‘entitled’ and suggested that she should either cook for herself or be more flexible in accommodating others' plans.
  • The common sentiment among commenters was that individuals with dietary restrictions should take responsibility for their own food choices without expecting others to always accommodate them.
Have you faced similar challenges with dietary restrictions when dining out with family or friends? How have you managed to find a balance that respects both your health needs and the preferences of others? Share your stories in the comments below.
 

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I am sorry I feel the father was totally unreasonable he didn't even take into consideration what eating their so called normal food would do, to her. I have a daughter who has this problem, and it takes sometime to find places that cater, but they are there. My biggest surprise was that a so, called restaurant didn't cater for gluten free, this is all around the world now even fast food outlets are carry gluten free options.
My feeling was the father thinks she is putting on the problem and is refusing to take her seriously, and he was just interested in an evening with her brother.
 
I have a good friend who has to stick to a gluten free diet and I am well aware of the health problems she experiences if she consumes anything at all containing gluten. I think there could probably have been a little more give and take on both sides here, but I also feel the woman's father could have had a bit more compassion for his daughter's health issues. It may not have been his responsibility to deal with them, but as her father I would have expected at least a bit more consideration than he apparently displayed. The woman was trying to find a way they could all eat without anyone suffering undesirable symptoms. Maybe my view is skewed because of my location. I would have to travel over 100 kilometres from my home to find an alternative restaurant to the local establishments, so driving 8 kilometres doesn't seem a particularly big deal to me.
 
There are so many dietary problems these days. Even dairy free is so hard to find. When we go out to dinner my daughter takes an egg sandwich on special bread in case she cannot be catered for. I am more than happy for her to choose a restaurant to keep her from having to take a day off work if she eats the wrong items
 
I was one of those who labelled people who ordered gluten free as Yuppys. UNTIL. I nearly died and was diagnosed as Coeliac. Being Coeliac isn't a choice it's a gene in your DNA. Celiac disease is a hereditary intolerance to gluten (a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye) that causes characteristic changes in the lining of the small intestine, resulting in malabsorption. The body then stores fat around the organs to protect them and you end up with liver , bowel and others cancers. Going out is hard. There"s coeliac friendly resturants , that serve gluten free meals by ingredient, but at the last minute you find they cook gluten free and gluten foods together and you can't eat. Then I end up drinking water all night and just enjoy the night out with freinds or family. Very annoying. At one chinese resturant I sat all night on a bowl of rice while my family ate a banquet. Often I refuse invitations for nights out only because of food options. My trick is to always have a protein bar in my bag when going out to stop the hunger pains. I think her father is being selfish by not changing resturants , and if he wants to have meals with her either cook for her at home or pick resturants she can go to. Gluten intolerance and coeliac are both painful, with projectile vomiting and diarrhoea within minutes to hours of contamination. My advice to her is don't go, thats what I do.
 
I am sorry I feel the father was totally unreasonable he didn't even take into consideration what eating their so called normal food would do, to her. I have a daughter who has this problem, and it takes sometime to find places that cater, but they are there. My biggest surprise was that a so, called restaurant didn't cater for gluten free, this is all around the world now even fast food outlets are carry gluten free options.
My feeling was the father thinks she is putting on the problem and is refusing to take her seriously, and he was just interested in an evening with her brother.
Well said. most don't believe in the effects of gluten, on some. I am in this position. How is she meant to participate. He has virtually cut her out. This is a close member of a family. And how much stress has he put her into.
 
My cousin who has coeliac disease came to stay over new year. We went to the local restaurant who provided gluten free options. I also checked the food I had at home, buying so much gluten free options that he ended up taking most of it home with him. I think this girls father needs educating on what his daughter is suffering from. It’s not hard to make an effort to understand. Mind you many give the same reaction to my granddaughter who has Autism and ADHD. its not down to bad parenting
 
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I was diagnosed with Gluten Intolerance many years ago and I feel for this young lady,,her Dad needs to understand her dietary needs,,,,I can't eat the bread unless toasted though ,,all the problems I had growing up as a child and into adult hood disappeared when I started going without gluten food,,if I sway a bit it doesn't take long for me to go downhill again,,sometimes you really crave a piece of real bread,,,a piece of sponge or a piece of some yummy slice
 
I am gluten, dairy and soy free. It can be pure hell coping with the severe pain, bloating. And can take several days to pass. To pick up a roast chicken it has wheat, as do sauces. It seems it is put in or on most prepared foods. it can be very challenging. And is certainly not fun. Not being entitled, it is a long term medical problem and can cause constant stress.
 
I am gluten, dairy and soy free. It can be pure hell coping with the severe pain, bloating. And can take several days to pass. To pick up a roast chicken it has wheat, as do sauces. It seems it is put in or on most prepared foods. it can be very challenging. And is certainly not fun. Not being entitled, it is a long term medical problem and can cause constant stress.
Agree whole heartedly
 
I have a rare and chronic autoimmune disorder which came on after COVID-19. I have an allergy to sulphites, which can be found in a lot of foods, e.g preservatives.
I one went out to dinner with friends and advised my allergies and based on the menu ordered a burger without any sauces or mayo, however they didn't come back and tell me there was an issue, they just slipped a plate next to me with a sole lettuce leaf. No patty, no bun, no cheese, obviously all were full of sulphites. Luckily for me they didn't charge me anything 🙃
 
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