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Eye Test
A chap carrying a violin case, walks in to an opticians and asked if he could have his eyes tested.
After a short wait, the Optician appeared and invited him through for the test. The chap follows the Optician, and is told to put the violin on the Opticians desk, whilst he performs he examination.
"First, I am going to test your general vision by getting you to read the card on the wall with each eye. If you would just stand on this line, cover your right eye, with your right hand, and starting at the top left of the card, read from left to right using your left eye, saying each letter out loud, and see how far you get down the card"
"No problem" says the chap, and starts to read.....X,P, J, K, R, and so on, right down to the bottom line. Not one mistake!!
"Your left eye seems fine" says the Optician, so now let's repeat the process, but this time read with your right eye.
"Fine" says the chap, and off he goes. Same result, not one mistake.
He then explains that he would test the chap for colour blindness.
I'm going to flip through pages of a book, and I would like you to tell me what you see on each page.
They start, and as the optician is turning each page, the chap is calling out "Duck, Yacht, Number 3, no idea, Ball, Toothbrush, No idea etc.....
At the end of the book, the Optician says that the chap has given the correct answers to the pictures that he named, which anyone who had full colour vision, would have seen. Those pages where he was unable to see any image, actually had images on them, but that they were designed so that only people who suffered from colour blindness could see what they were.
"I have carried out all the tests I need, and I am happy to confirm that you've got perfect 20-20 vision" says the Optician.
The chap looks doubtfully at the Optician, and says that he doesn't want to appear to be rude, but that he doesn't believe what the Optician has told him.
The Optician is furious, and demands to know why the chap doubts what he has told him.
The chap crosses the room to the Opticians desk, and opens up the violin case. "Have a look at this he says"
The Optician comes over and can't believe what he sees. Inside is a single, two foot long turd about 5 inches in diameter, stretching from one end of the case to the other.
"For fuck sake" he exclaims "It's a fucking Doctor you need to see young man. Whatever gave you the idea that an Optician would be able to help you?"
"Well" says the chap "Every time I do one like that, my eyes water!"
A chap carrying a violin case, walks in to an opticians and asked if he could have his eyes tested.
After a short wait, the Optician appeared and invited him through for the test. The chap follows the Optician, and is told to put the violin on the Opticians desk, whilst he performs he examination.
"First, I am going to test your general vision by getting you to read the card on the wall with each eye. If you would just stand on this line, cover your right eye, with your right hand, and starting at the top left of the card, read from left to right using your left eye, saying each letter out loud, and see how far you get down the card"
"No problem" says the chap, and starts to read.....X,P, J, K, R, and so on, right down to the bottom line. Not one mistake!!
"Your left eye seems fine" says the Optician, so now let's repeat the process, but this time read with your right eye.
"Fine" says the chap, and off he goes. Same result, not one mistake.
He then explains that he would test the chap for colour blindness.
I'm going to flip through pages of a book, and I would like you to tell me what you see on each page.
They start, and as the optician is turning each page, the chap is calling out "Duck, Yacht, Number 3, no idea, Ball, Toothbrush, No idea etc.....
At the end of the book, the Optician says that the chap has given the correct answers to the pictures that he named, which anyone who had full colour vision, would have seen. Those pages where he was unable to see any image, actually had images on them, but that they were designed so that only people who suffered from colour blindness could see what they were.
"I have carried out all the tests I need, and I am happy to confirm that you've got perfect 20-20 vision" says the Optician.
The chap looks doubtfully at the Optician, and says that he doesn't want to appear to be rude, but that he doesn't believe what the Optician has told him.
The Optician is furious, and demands to know why the chap doubts what he has told him.
The chap crosses the room to the Opticians desk, and opens up the violin case. "Have a look at this he says"
The Optician comes over and can't believe what he sees. Inside is a single, two foot long turd about 5 inches in diameter, stretching from one end of the case to the other.
"For fuck sake" he exclaims "It's a fucking Doctor you need to see young man. Whatever gave you the idea that an Optician would be able to help you?"
"Well" says the chap "Every time I do one like that, my eyes water!"
