English Language – A Dinosaur’s View
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This article was kindly written for the SDC by member @Doctor Alan.
I did rather well in English when I was at primary school. I don’t set a lot of store in it, except that it probably coloured my views of ‘correct’ language as I grew older.
Years ago, when my family emigrated to Australia as ‘Ten Pound Poms’, there was a serialised story that appeared in the Daily Mirror – later to be made into a book. It was called 'They’re a Weird Mob' by ‘Nino Culotta’. We found later that his real name was John O’Grady, and Nino was the main character in his book. It was really funny, and focused on a Northern Italian’s perception of the Australia he’d adopted, and the people in it.
As I recall – and don’t forget, I’m remembering from about 1955 – Nino was always introduced like this: 'This is Nino. He’s an ‘Eye-Tie’ – ‘orright though'. He was a very big bloke with blonde hair, unlike Southern Italians, who had dark hair. When he arrived, he hired a taxi, and the taxi driver asked him where he wanted to go. He said 'King’s Cross', and the driver said: 'King’s bloody Cross?' what d’ya wanna go there for?' or something like that.
Thereafter, Nino assumed the place was called ‘King’s Bloody Cross’. When he asked a couple of well-dressed men the directions to ‘King’s Bloody Cross’ he was just given a dirty look and overheard one say to the other: 'It’s the types, you know…' and somebody nearby said to him: 'Don’t worry about them. They’re radio blokes.'
How comfortable are you with grammar and spelling? Image Credit: Shutterstock
You see, in those days, ‘Radio blokes’ spoke a sort of ‘posh’ English, and the ABC was a fine example of this. Their commentators used to speak in a very ‘English’ accent that was supposed to set an example for others, both on the radio and TV. How things have changed! The ABC standards have slipped a lot. Bad grammar, gabbled dialogue or annoying ‘jerky-talk’, misspelt subtitles and silly drum music that drowns out the News reviews and lead-ins.
When I was younger, I would be quite self-conscious about the fact that I’d pronounce my ‘r’s’ as ‘w’s’, so if I said 'Sorry!' it sounded like 'Sowy'. It’s quite common in the UK amongst certain sections of the population, but I didn’t like it, and used to practice ‘rolling’ my ‘r’s’ to eliminate it. I needn’t have worried, after all that. Many people have far ‘worse’ speech problems!
Grammar:
I thought I was ‘OK’ with my English grammar, until I spent some time writing a thesis for a Doctorate. My supervisor would constantly remind me about putting a ‘comma’ before ‘and’ or writing one-sentence paragraphs, among other things. (A comma before ‘and’ in a sentence is used in most cases, but not necessarily all. My rule is that if I ‘take a short breath’ as I read a sentence, it should have a comma at that point.) Of course, it is often said that ‘English is an evolving language’, and nothing can beat the ‘corruption’ of English seen in America. I was always taught to say ‘different FROM’, ‘similar TO’ and ‘compared WITH’. In fact, if you look at any of the old American B&W movies of the 30's and 40’s vintage, they always say ‘different from’. Now it’s ‘different to…’ or ‘different than…’.
The ‘gerund’ has become lost somewhere, too. Gerunds are words that are formed with verbs but act as nouns. They're very easy to spot, since every gerund is a verb with ‘ing’ tacked to its tail. There are no exceptions to this rule. For instance: 'It’s no good my working hard if all you do is waste money'. You see, ‘working’ is treated as a noun.
Apostrophes are not very well understood these days either. Of course, it seems to be wrong to use the plural form of an acronym with just the ‘s’ attached, like TVs, so most people opt for ‘TV’s’ – which indicates ownership by the TV of something.
‘They’re', 'There' and 'Their' always seem to cause problems for the younger generation, too. The same applies to ‘You’re’ and ‘Your’, but it’s almost as if people have an over-abundance of ‘spare’ apostrophes and have to ‘sprinkle’ them liberally anywhere at all! There are many places where you’ll find ‘Hamburger’s’ or ‘Coffee’s' sold.
Another one that I have noticed is 'With regards to…' or 'In regards to…'. It should be …regard… (singular) in each case. ‘Regards’ is reserved for greetings.
Spelling:
There was a time when parents took an active interest in things like good manners, respect and spelling! Leaving it up to the school assumes the young teacher has had some sort of magic upbringing, and this is rarely the case. The school should, of course, reinforce those values as well as spelling, hygiene and so on, but there are many parents who actually believe the school should be responsible.
There are many words, like ‘onomatopoeia’ and ‘diarrhoea’, that are notoriously difficult to spell, but words like ‘dessert’ and ‘desert should be obvious.
It’s quite comical sometimes, watching the subtitles on the news bulletins. I suppose some are automatically generated, but I really don’t think there’s enough quality control – they just make the person or machine look stupid sometimes!
Pronunciation:
Oh, how I wish we had a PM who could pronounce things correctly! It’s a bit embarrassing to hear ‘Straya’ and ‘Abijenee’ from the leader of this great country. I think, though, that our Albert is good in all sorts of ways compared with previous people, and maybe I’m expecting too much.
Difficulties arise with words like: 'Chamber of Manufacturers' (some people simply can’t include the ‘er’); 'Vulnerable' (the ‘l’ seems too difficult for some); and 'Arctic' (often pronounced 'Artic'). There are many others as well. I put it down to just ‘lazy speech’.
I can’t for the life of me work out why most people say ‘kilOmetres’ instead of ‘kilo-metres’. We don’t say ‘kilOwatts’, ’kilOgrams’ or ’kilOjoules’ do we? We pronounce these words: ‘Killer-watts’, ‘Killer-grams’ and ‘Killer-joules’, so why not 'Killer-metres'?
The use of ‘So’:
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I always find it really annoying when I hear the use of ‘so’ at the beginning of an answer. For instance, when a young person is asked their occupation, most of them say: 'So I work in ….' To me ‘so’ is a result of something. For example: 'The bomb went off, so some people were hurt'.
Press Conferences:
I realise it’s a bit ‘off-subject’, but I always find it quite frustrating when the reporter’s question elicits a sub-title response: 'Unintelligible', and the politician’s reply sometimes makes no sense. Why on Earth can’t the politician simply repeat the question? It’s what I was taught on a ‘presentation’ course – it helps everybody understand what’s going on, including the person who asked the question. It’s so unprofessional!
Do you use the Scrabble dictionary as a reference material? Image Credit: Shutterstock
Misquotes:
There’s a lot of ignorance out there – even outside that country that wants to ‘Grate’ again - believe it or not. I think my favourite misquote was ‘Hoisted on his own Petard’ instead of ‘Hoist by his own Petard’. A Petard was an explosive, and ‘hoist’ or ‘hoisted’ means, in this case, blown up. The misquote obviously refers to some form of hoist!
Another misquote is 'He must be some sort of Oxy Moron!' – incorrect, because an oxymoron is a figure of speech where two contradictory or opposite terms appear together in a phrase. E.g.: 'deafening silence,' or 'same difference' – certainly not a ‘stupid person’!
I realise there are many more errors, both in spoken and written English, and since English is ever-changing (refer to the latest Scrabble dictionary if you doubt this!), there’s really no point having a conniption, or getting one’s knickers in a knot about it! I just want to hold on to the original language as long as possible!
Oh yes, I’m definitely one of the dinosaurs – and we’ll all be gone soon!
About the author: Having spent three years living in Australia in his youth, Alan returned to Australia in 1969 with his wife and young child. Holding a Bachelor of Engineering degree and a Doctor of Science Education degree, Alan has experience in flight simulations, Einsteinian physics, and inventing an ‘eye blink’ device that allows cerebral palsy patients to communicate. He even took a turn at acting, starring in a TV advert and landing supporting and lead roles in his local dramatic society plays. His short stories have been published in WA’s The Gingin Buzz for ten years, and his novel The Magic Hourglass is a work in progress. Keep up to date on his latest stories and poems on his website here. He and his wife have a lovely life in Brisbane and regularly visit their two children in Sydney’s West. You can read Alan’s full-length bio here.
From the Editor:
Do you also remember They’re a Weird Mob' by Nino Culotta? Let us know in the comments below!
Love Alan’s writing and want to read more? You might also like to read:
Alan G.’s Member Spotlight: ‘Almost Famous’
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The Lucky Man: The Tech Guy – Dr Al
‘Ten Pound Pom’ Hostel Living: The Tech Guy – Dr Al
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Reaching for the Stars!
Sportsmanship, Manners, and Respect
My great-grandfather’s journal of 1908: The Tech Guy – Dr Al
Christmases I’ve Had
Pocket Money
University Days
Nasty Words and Silly Gestures
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