[Luckyus]

Dirty Pick Up Lines
Some Comical,Some Crappy.​

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
But it’s what’s in your pants That I’d like to choose.

They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.

Let's get together sometime. You bring your beaker and I'll bring my stirring rod.

All I have is a King-Size Candy. You think you can take it all?

You must be calcium bicarbonate, because if you let me get you wet, then the reaction will be explosive.

Ain't nothing sticky about those buns – they look nice and smooth.

Girl, are you a train? Because I want to lay under you.

I would totally carve your pumpkin.

Girl, you are as sweet as candy? Because once I start eating you I want to finish you.

You don’t need a fortissimo sign to make me scream.

Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates.

Deal? I'm a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?

Do you work at a pie shop? Cause you make my banana cream.

Baby your bone structure is giving my "bone" structure.

My favorite mineral is halite because it has perfect cleavage… just like you.

At the drugstore: Apply me to your sensitive area.

I saw London, I saw France... Can I see your underpants?

Can I hiber-mate with you?

Girl to guy: Will you be kind enough to let me finish first?

If you were a TSA agent, I would be happy to get a body scan.

Are you a train set? Because my train wants to go through your tunnels.

Hey, guy, what size are you? My mouth would be the perfect fit.

Do you think I can fit that in my mouth? Wanna try?

Wanna Scrooge?

I’m like pi baby, I’m really long and I go on forever.

Knock knock! Who's there? Candice. Candice who? Candice dick fit in your mouth?

My d*ck just died. Can I bury it in your mouth?

Don’t you worry about all the hot mess we’re going to make because I asked some lysosomes to come and clean up later.

I am a pharmacist, I do it without breaks and I go all day long.

Do you want to look at my telescope? You can Hubble it if you want.

Do you know the diffrence between a sandwich and a blowjob? No? Let's have lunch.

I'm jealous of your fan... 'Cuz it's blowing you and I'm not.

You get any hotter... And I'll have to blow on you before I put you in my mouth.

My drives aren't always long and straight... but I can show you what is!

You forgot to pay your income tax so I'm coming to seize your ASSets.

I may be a vegan, but I want your meat.

I am a mean green machine.

I like fractions, do you want to do some with me?

I am like a numerator because I like to be on top.

Spread your legs shoulder width, that's the first step to a successful golf swing.

Are you a ceiling fan? Because I need someone to blow me while I sleep.

I want to duet with you.

Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?

You're so hot I'd jack your dad off just to see where you came from.

I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight.

I’m sine, you are cosine, let’s make a tangent.

I'm a Gemini. What's your sign - Fire Down Below?

If you were the wind, I'd want to be a kite That way you would blow me.

Hey baby, can I unleash my cauliflower in your radish patch?

About 100 trillion neutrinos penetrate your body every second. Mind if I join in?

You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

 

[Wandiwa]

True story:
Me to my wife .... How about we go turkey hunting, you gobble and I'll shoot.
Wife: How about I just wring it's neck.