Calling the police
An older gentleman was awoken in the early hours of the morning by noises outside in his yard. He looked through his window and saw two crooks breaking into his shed, so he called the police only to be told that all police patrols were busy and response time would be around two hours.
The old bloke thanked them and hung up .. then rang back and said, "Don't worry about sending a patrol. I went out and shot the bastards"
Immediately after he hung up there was a wailing of sirens. Within minutes two patrol cars show up along with a van full of STAR officers, a dog squad officer, two detectives, a supervisor's vehicle and a Police Inspector ... and they caught the crooks.
The Inspector then fronted the old bloke and said, "I thought you said you shot those two?"
The old bloke replied, "And I thought you said you were too busy to spare a car."
NEVER mess with old folk. They have heaps of time and the experience to mess with your head!