Behind the curtains of a Mormon family: “My polygamist father married 27 times – I have 150 siblings.”
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Mary Jane Blackmore who grew up in a Mormon family shared a compelling story of what life was like for her, leading up to the moment when she started questioning everything.
What might seem bewildering to most, was completely normal for this family. While polygamy is practised by some Mormons, most nonfundamentalist Mormons avoid it.
The historical origins of polygamy in the Mormon church started way back in the early 1830s. It was founded by Joseph Smith, who claimed to have encountered a vision of his deceased brother in heaven. His brother revealed to him that families could be together in paradise if they engaged in religious rites, also known as ‘sealings’, in an attempt to ‘save’ the people they love.
Smith extended the controversial view to the Mormon community as it was enacted by prophets from the Old Testament. He insisted that a ‘righteous’ man could help countless of women and children to go to heaven in the afterlife by being ‘sealed’ in a polygamous marriage.
However, shortly after the U.S. Civil War, the United States Congress passed the Edmunds-Tucker Act in 1887, which considers polygamy a federal offence. The LDS Church President consequently announced that the Mormon church would no longer authorize plural unions in adherence with the law.
Nonetheless, fundamentalist Mormons, like Mary’s parents, refused to give it up.
At the young age of 14, Mary said that she casually shared a meal with her father’s 12 other wives along with a shocking amount of 40 siblings. Her mum, Jane, was her Dad’s very first wife which he married at only 18 years old in a small fundamentalist Mormon community located in British Columbia.
While Mary’s mum was pregnant with her in 1982, her Dad married his second wife, and onto the third when she was only a few months old.
Initially, the big family all lived under the same roof but when Mary turned eight years old, her Dad introduced a fourth and fifth wife which called for a second house to be built next door.
Mary said that she attended a local private school meant for the children of the church where she experienced the following:
“Jobs were divided by sex, with girls and mothers preparing meals, taking care of the children and doing the housework, while the men and boys did farm jobs. The rules on modesty were strict: make-up and haircuts were banned and we had to be covered from our neck to our wrists and ankles.”
Most of the wives were held to a certain standard in terms of labour. They were expected to partake in ‘feminine’ jobs such as roles in the laundrette. But, Mary’s mum studied to be a nurse and worked as a midwife, which meant having to work long hours. This left Mary under the care of her Dad’s other wives.
Mary admitted she was aware that polygamy was illegal and that authorities would even show up at their home but nobody was ever arrested. Still, this left a lasting impression on Mary. She, along with her half-siblings, were strictly instructed to never reveal their family secret to strangers.
Despite all the anxiety from staying on the low, Mary shared several other things that also worried her on a daily basis.
“While Dad tried to be fair, his time was divided between an ever-growing number of children, wives and church duties. There was little peace or personal space, which I found hard when I hit puberty.” She said. “There were issues with the mothers, too, with sharp looks and muttered comments, and we could tell which of them didn’t get along.”
At 17 years old, Mary was forced to partake in an arranged marriage with Sam, a 19-year-old boy selected by their church leader.
“Things were awkward at first as Sam and I learned to share a bed, but we figured it out. After our honeymoon, camping in Utah, we moved to a Mormon community in Alberta, where Sam was part of a logging crew. Life was happy, we fell in love and our daughter Starla, who was born in June 2001.” she said.
All the while, her Dad continued to marry several women which brought her sibling count to 80.
However, what she believed was a fairytale life, ended in June 2002 when her Dad got excommunicated from the church. Her family was completely torn on whether or not they should support the church or her Dad.
In the end, her father’s family, siblings, and two of her own daughters sided with the church. Terrified that she’d lose them, she decided to file for a divorce.
Since then, Mary studied for a degree in education at the College of the Rockies in British Columbia. Her exposure to the outside world made her question her beliefs.
“Sam hadn’t taken any other wives, but after everything that had happened, I started questioning my beliefs. I began asking myself if I really did have to wear long dresses and if modern music was sinful.” she said.
“In 2006, at the age of 23, I tried my first alcoholic drink, having joined an ice-hockey team, celebrating our wins by dancing the night away. It was exciting to take these steps, although I often felt torn and was shocked by the sexualisation of women in advertisements and on TV.”
She continued to explain that she felt shunned by her community, except Sam, who was also on the journey of trying out new things.
“After graduating in 2009, I came back to teach at a school in Bountiful. Sam and I had grown distant, both busy with work, and by 2010 our marriage was over. Our divorce was heartbreaking, but it spurred me on to explore the outside world.” Mary wrote.
Mary learned to find her own happiness in life without the fear of being judged by her childhood community. She went on international trips, met new people she loved, and found peace within herself.
“When Starla (her daughter) turned 16, she tried on my wedding dress, and I felt so grateful that she didn’t have to marry a stranger.” She mentioned.
Her Dad, on the other hand, was convicted and charged with polygamy in the year 2018. He was given six months of house arrest and broke records being the first polygamy conviction in Canada after over a century.
“He remains committed to his faith, but I no longer consider myself a Mormon. I’m a feminist, who has learned so much from the women in the fundamentalist Mormon community. It’s thanks to them that I’ve now written a memoir.” she proudly declared.
Now, Mary has a total of 150 siblings from her Dad’s 27 marriages. Her children are enrolled in universities and she is happily living with her sister, Katie, in Bountiful.
She revealed that she didn’t have a tight-knit relationship with the members of her massive family but she still comes over to celebrate special occasions such as Thanksgiving and New Year with them.
Wasn’t that quite interesting? What are your personal thoughts on this story? Share it with us in the comments below!
Learn more about Mormons by watching this video:
Credit: I Am Your Target Demographic
What might seem bewildering to most, was completely normal for this family. While polygamy is practised by some Mormons, most nonfundamentalist Mormons avoid it.
The historical origins of polygamy in the Mormon church started way back in the early 1830s. It was founded by Joseph Smith, who claimed to have encountered a vision of his deceased brother in heaven. His brother revealed to him that families could be together in paradise if they engaged in religious rites, also known as ‘sealings’, in an attempt to ‘save’ the people they love.
Smith extended the controversial view to the Mormon community as it was enacted by prophets from the Old Testament. He insisted that a ‘righteous’ man could help countless of women and children to go to heaven in the afterlife by being ‘sealed’ in a polygamous marriage.
However, shortly after the U.S. Civil War, the United States Congress passed the Edmunds-Tucker Act in 1887, which considers polygamy a federal offence. The LDS Church President consequently announced that the Mormon church would no longer authorize plural unions in adherence with the law.
Nonetheless, fundamentalist Mormons, like Mary’s parents, refused to give it up.
At the young age of 14, Mary said that she casually shared a meal with her father’s 12 other wives along with a shocking amount of 40 siblings. Her mum, Jane, was her Dad’s very first wife which he married at only 18 years old in a small fundamentalist Mormon community located in British Columbia.
While Mary’s mum was pregnant with her in 1982, her Dad married his second wife, and onto the third when she was only a few months old.
Initially, the big family all lived under the same roof but when Mary turned eight years old, her Dad introduced a fourth and fifth wife which called for a second house to be built next door.
Mary said that she attended a local private school meant for the children of the church where she experienced the following:
“Jobs were divided by sex, with girls and mothers preparing meals, taking care of the children and doing the housework, while the men and boys did farm jobs. The rules on modesty were strict: make-up and haircuts were banned and we had to be covered from our neck to our wrists and ankles.”
Most of the wives were held to a certain standard in terms of labour. They were expected to partake in ‘feminine’ jobs such as roles in the laundrette. But, Mary’s mum studied to be a nurse and worked as a midwife, which meant having to work long hours. This left Mary under the care of her Dad’s other wives.
Mary admitted she was aware that polygamy was illegal and that authorities would even show up at their home but nobody was ever arrested. Still, this left a lasting impression on Mary. She, along with her half-siblings, were strictly instructed to never reveal their family secret to strangers.
Despite all the anxiety from staying on the low, Mary shared several other things that also worried her on a daily basis.
“While Dad tried to be fair, his time was divided between an ever-growing number of children, wives and church duties. There was little peace or personal space, which I found hard when I hit puberty.” She said. “There were issues with the mothers, too, with sharp looks and muttered comments, and we could tell which of them didn’t get along.”
At 17 years old, Mary was forced to partake in an arranged marriage with Sam, a 19-year-old boy selected by their church leader.
“Things were awkward at first as Sam and I learned to share a bed, but we figured it out. After our honeymoon, camping in Utah, we moved to a Mormon community in Alberta, where Sam was part of a logging crew. Life was happy, we fell in love and our daughter Starla, who was born in June 2001.” she said.
All the while, her Dad continued to marry several women which brought her sibling count to 80.
However, what she believed was a fairytale life, ended in June 2002 when her Dad got excommunicated from the church. Her family was completely torn on whether or not they should support the church or her Dad.
In the end, her father’s family, siblings, and two of her own daughters sided with the church. Terrified that she’d lose them, she decided to file for a divorce.
Since then, Mary studied for a degree in education at the College of the Rockies in British Columbia. Her exposure to the outside world made her question her beliefs.
“Sam hadn’t taken any other wives, but after everything that had happened, I started questioning my beliefs. I began asking myself if I really did have to wear long dresses and if modern music was sinful.” she said.
“In 2006, at the age of 23, I tried my first alcoholic drink, having joined an ice-hockey team, celebrating our wins by dancing the night away. It was exciting to take these steps, although I often felt torn and was shocked by the sexualisation of women in advertisements and on TV.”
She continued to explain that she felt shunned by her community, except Sam, who was also on the journey of trying out new things.
“After graduating in 2009, I came back to teach at a school in Bountiful. Sam and I had grown distant, both busy with work, and by 2010 our marriage was over. Our divorce was heartbreaking, but it spurred me on to explore the outside world.” Mary wrote.
Mary learned to find her own happiness in life without the fear of being judged by her childhood community. She went on international trips, met new people she loved, and found peace within herself.
“When Starla (her daughter) turned 16, she tried on my wedding dress, and I felt so grateful that she didn’t have to marry a stranger.” She mentioned.
Her Dad, on the other hand, was convicted and charged with polygamy in the year 2018. He was given six months of house arrest and broke records being the first polygamy conviction in Canada after over a century.
“He remains committed to his faith, but I no longer consider myself a Mormon. I’m a feminist, who has learned so much from the women in the fundamentalist Mormon community. It’s thanks to them that I’ve now written a memoir.” she proudly declared.
Now, Mary has a total of 150 siblings from her Dad’s 27 marriages. Her children are enrolled in universities and she is happily living with her sister, Katie, in Bountiful.
She revealed that she didn’t have a tight-knit relationship with the members of her massive family but she still comes over to celebrate special occasions such as Thanksgiving and New Year with them.
Wasn’t that quite interesting? What are your personal thoughts on this story? Share it with us in the comments below!
Learn more about Mormons by watching this video:
Credit: I Am Your Target Demographic
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