Did you hear that Australia will soon have its own poet laureate?

Are any budding or established poets among us vying for the title?

I'd absolutely love to read some of your poetry (of course, don't share anything currently in consideration for publication).

I might even be able to sneak your poem into the Sunday newsletter

Now, I would never ask you to do something I wouldn't do myself so here's a little Australian poem that was published in Australia and Canada back in 2021.

Credit: SDC

Get writing, poets. We have a title to win!

 

[Staffordshire Whippet]

Oxford English Dictionary defines Poet Laureate:


noun

1. an eminent poet appointed as a member of the British royal household.
   
   From what source within Oz will an "eminent poet" be found, and into what Bunyip Aristocracy will he/she/it/add-pronoun-as-required be appointed?
   Seriously? Every passing day, Ol' Mate Albo (who grew up in a single-parent Houso flat in Camperdown - he'll tell you ALL about it!) gives us yet another "Hey! Look out the window!" moment to distract us all from the fact that nothing is actually happening. I'm just waiting for the day when there really are two dogs mating out there...
   

 

[Staffordshire Whippet]

LATE MAIL: Following your story about Chat GPT, perhaps this Laureate might be integrated into and automated by Dept of Human Services IT people; killing two doves with one stone, as it were....

"ChatGPT reportedly generated some poetic responses to the complaints raised by patients.

One patient, who Complained about rising Gap Fees, received the following response:

'Alas penny pincher,
’tis true the cost doth rise,
Like the tide upon the shore,
it never dies,
But fear not,
for in the hands of a skilled physician,
Thy health and wellbeing
shall be the true mission.'

 

[dogparliament]

Sue Sue I love you
When you're in your nightie
And the moonlight flits
Across you t--s,
Jesus Christ Almighty!


The Dogs once held a parliament.
They came from near and far.
Some dogs came by Aeroplane
And Some by motor car,

Before into the Meeting Hall
Each was allowed to look
Each had to take his asshole off
And hang it on a hook.

No sooner were they seated
Each Mother's son, and sire,
Than a dirty little yellow dog
Got up and shouter 'FIRE"

So they dashed out from the Meeting Hall,
Nor even paused to look,
But snatched the nearest asshole
From off the nearest hook.

They got their assholes all mixed up!
It made them very sore
To wear another dog's asshole
They'd never worn before......


So this explains why ANY dog
Will leave the choicest bone
To smell another dog's asshole
To see if it's his own!

Whay any dogf`

 

[Staffordshire Whippet]

Sue Sue I love you
When you're in your nightie
And the moonlight flits
Across you t--s,
Jesus Christ Almighty!


The Dogs once held a parliament.
They came from near and far.
Some dogs came by Aeroplane
And Some by motor car,

Before into the Meeting Hall
Each was allowed to look
Each had to take his asshole off
And hang it on a hook.

No sooner were they seated
Each Mother's son, and sire,
Than a dirty little yellow dog
Got up and shouter 'FIRE"

So they dashed out from the Meeting Hall,
Nor even paused to look,
But snatched the nearest asshole
From off the nearest hook.

They got their assholes all mixed up!
It made them very sore
To wear another dog's asshole
They'd never worn before......


So this explains why ANY dog
Will leave the choicest bone
To smell another dog's asshole
To see if it's his own!

Whay any dogf`

Sir! You are a Natural for this job. I would otherwise have suggested Sir Les Patterson, now that he has long retired from his post as Cultural Attache to the Court of St. James. You may also remember, during the time of the Whitlam Government, the sterling performance he made as Minister For The Yartz.... here is a reminder of that wonderful time: