[mOiOz]

APHORISMS​

APHORISMS Statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner I read that 4,153,237 people were married last year. Not to cause any trouble.... but shouldn't that be an even number? I find it ironic that the colours red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that! I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night. Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye. You're not fat, you're just easier to see. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. The location of your letterbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a dressing gown before you start looking like a mental patient. Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch. So, there you are. Learn a new word every day and you will never be short of words. I just created another aphorism!

 

[mickthesnip]

Awesome

 

[SirExton]

Why bother? By who's interested anyway!

 

[Dennis]

Another good one.

Dennis R's Morning Pun. Doctor-Doctor I accidentally ate my pillow, Don't be so down in the mouth.

 

[Robeo56]

Well written, and oh so true!

 

[elelover]

Loved them all! Thanks.

 

[Mikeyboy2012]

Very good. Surprisingly there were quite a few that I hadn't heard before. Or is that "read before"?

 

[Brumbies]

Thankyou so much for your, great advice