[mOiOz]

APHORISMS​

APHORISMS

An aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion, expressed in a concise and witty manner.

1) I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year.
Not to cause any trouble - but shouldn't that be an even
number?

2) I find it ironic that the colours red, white and blue stand for
freedom, until they are flashing behind you.

3) When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body.
Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

4) Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at
your X and wondered Y?

5) America is a country that produces citizens who will cross the
ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

6) You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love
someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

7) My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about that!

8) I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been Googling my
name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

9) Money talks ... but all mine ever says is goodbye.

10) You're not fat, you're just easier to see.

11) If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a
couple of payments.

12) I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.
Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

13) The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from
your house, you can go in a robe before you start looking
like a mental patient.