[Skipton]

AND EVEN MORE!​

Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Me: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to
slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So
remember. . . Don't sing!

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my
leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

So if a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests
I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead
yet.

You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then
try to stand back up.