[Athena E.]

'Am I a bad host for not serving my "good tea"?'​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/ketita:

Am I being unreasonable for not sharing the 'good tea' with a friend?

'My friend was over visiting, I offered tea. She said yes.'

'She's not much of a tea drinker - she normally drinks cheap herbal teas (which are not actually tea anyway), and isn't picky. I, on the other hand, have a cabinet full of teas of various types, imported from around the world.'

'I offered her a decent selection: a nice oolong, a nice white tea, a high-quality herbal, a good flavoured black. She pointed at something else in the cabinet and went, "What about that one?"'

'I hesitated, then said it's pretty expensive pu-erh I had imported, and she probably wouldn't like it anyway. She said I'm being stingy and could let her taste for herself.'

'But pu-erh is a polarising tea anyway, and this stuff is not cheap at all, and it would be difficult for me to get more of this brand. I know I can make multiple cups from it, but I hadn't been planning on doing a pu-erh week right now, and really didn't want to "waste" it on someone who probably wouldn't like it anyway. She doesn't even like strong black tea!'

'(For those not in the know: my family has compared the smell of pu-erh to "fish" and "dirty socks". I like it a lot, but I understand it's not everybody's thing.)'

'Now she's being passive-aggressive at me. Am I being unreasonable?'

 

[Barbara V]

Surely one cup would be ok ,come on

 

[Wombat2u2004]

Give em nothing and take them nowhere.

 

[Witty]

If you went to her house and she offered you a cuppa, what would you do? Turn your nose up at what she has on offer, take your own or say no thanks? For heavens sake, why spoil a friendship over a cup of tea. Yes, you should have let her have her pick - does one cup really matter so much to you. Friendship is far more important than falling out over a cuppa. Invite her back and let her have whatever she picks and don't forget to apologise for your behaviour.

 

[Nozmo]

Did you explain to her what your family says about it? Maybe she wouldn’t want that one after all.

 

[novezar]

Just shouldn't have opened up the door to what she had.
Should've just used her every day variety instead of opening "Pandoras Box".
The whole matter is a bit 'Wiffy Waffy" at best.

 

[HelenB55]

I get a specialty tea delivered from England, only because I cannot get it in Australia. A family member brought the brand back for me as a souvenir.

NO-ONE else gets to drink it but me.

If we have friends over I have about 5 different other teas for them to choose from.

 

[Mindygirl12022]

NO

 

[Parrot]

I have either Jasmine Tea .. Peppermint Tea or normal extra strong Tea that is the choice I
offer to anyone who visits OR Coffee … because that’s all I have .

 

[7777]

You are being quite reasonable by not opening your expensive tea to a person even though she is a friend, if that is not really her cup of tea. You know the flavour, she doesn't, she only wanted by the sounds of it, to be able to say that she had an expensive tea irrespective of the flavour. You are being a fantastic host, you made her a cup of tea and showed her that you make the decisions concerning your expensive tea, good on you,, God bless,

 

[Craftingnonna]

I think you’re both being silly. You say the tea is expensive and hard to get and I understand that. It wouldn’t have hurt you to make a small cup for her to taste. it was the same with our children, they wanted to eat what we ate and so to avoid tantrums we gave them a taste,I remember eating a very hot curry once and our son wanted some we couldn’t convince him that it was too hot so, I put a tiny pit on the tip a tea spoon and gave him a taste. After several glasses of milk he was convinced, no curry for him? surprisingly as an adult he loves anything hot and spicy. One more thing in the future keep all your favourite teas out of site, I do this with my favourite chocolates when I know the grandchildren are visiting. Our little rewards are special to us and are to be shared sparingly.

 

[Wombat2u2004]

I don't drink tea.
Anyone read "Arsenic and Old Lace" recently?

 

[relljube]

Sounds to me like you were being a bit of a show off - go on admit it! Your collection of teas is something to brag about - sorry but if you get more than one cup out of a serving, why not make her a cup with yours & if the smell puts her off, you can have seconds. How expensive can a cup of tea be?

 

[Craftingnonna]

I don't drink tea.
Anyone read "Arsenic and Old Lace" recently?

I haven’t seen that film for years, and those sweet old ladies were so concern about the lonely old gentlemen, that pinch of arsenic in the elderberry wine, was a killer. And poor Teddy having to make all those trips to Panama. I think I’ll get the book, if I can find it. Thank you for the mentioning it.

 

[Wombat2u2004]

I haven’t seen that film for years, and those sweet old ladies were so concern about the lonely old gentlemen, that pinch of arsenic in the elderberry wine, was a killer. And poor Teddy having to make all those trips to Panama. I think I’ll get the book, if I can find it. Thank you for the mentioning it.

I would think it would be a very good read. I just checked ebay, old copies of it are very expensive, one listed at $3000+ and they come from the USA. The DVD's are not badly priced tho.