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AIBU for telling my [35f] friend's [32f] fiance [36m] that their new house isn't his because he didn't contribute to purchasing it?
PASS YOUR VERDICT BELOW
I[35f] have a friend Ren [32f] who purchased her first house recently with her fiancé Jack [36m]. Fake names.
Ren and Jack had us over this past weekend to see their new house at a housewarming/Halloween party. There were several people there, some I knew, and some I didn’t because they were Jack’s friends. I sat outside for a bit with Ren after having been there for an hour and getting a tour of their new house.
I asked Ren how it felt to officially be a homeowner, and she said it was probably their biggest accomplishment so far in their lives and they were both so excited. She said she can’t stop looking at our county auditor’s website and looking up the house address to see their name on it. I never heard of this (we live in the states so I’m not sure if this can be done in other countries), and I asked her to show me. She logged into the county auditor website on her phone and showed me the property records. I saw Ren’s name but not Jack’s.
I asked Ren why that was. Long story short, she said that her credit score alone qualified them for a better interest rate and since her parents gave her the $35k down payment that she didn’t want his name on it since she and her family had the most to lose should something negative happen with their relationship or one of them passes away (her will was rewritten to leave the house to Jack as long as they are still married). Jack apparently agreed to this, and they plan to use this house for equity 10 years down the road and at that time his name will be on the new house. (I knew about her the down payment months ago when they started looking). But she said the house is still Jack’s in her eyes since they are getting married.
A few hours later, some people have left and we sat outside around a fire pit chatting with Jack and couple of their friends. I honestly don’t remember what we were talking about, but Jack interrupted me and asked why I kept referring to the house as “Ren’s house” and not “their house”. I didn’t notice I was saying it, but I told him that maybe it was because the house is not his. He asked what I meant and I mentioned the house on the auditor website only had Ren’s name on it.
Ren said who cares and that he contributes to the bills and upkeep and he lives there, so it’s his house. I said with all due respect, it isn’t legally. The other friends were quiet, but Jack laughed at me. I asked what was so funny, but all he told me after sipping his beer was to get the heck off his property. I told him it’s not his property and I wasn’t going anywhere. Then Ren said, “Get off of our property.” I said Jack should be mad at Ren for showing me in the first place and left.
I asked my sister about what happened. She said that his name being on the isn’t relevant because when you marry you share everything you have with your partner and that I was out of line. But my dad said I wasn’t technically wrong and Ren was wrong for showing me his name wasn’t on the house. AIBU?
