[Xe]

AIBU for "parentifying" my child?​

I have two children. One is Austin (9-year-old boy) and one is Beth (15-year-old girl)

Last night Beth went into my room and broke down crying about this thing called parentification. She also unloaded about school. Apparently, it's "too stressful." She gets to do it in her pajamas and doesn't have to wake up early for the bus. Don't see her problem.

Now for the parentification. I asked her what it was, and she said that it was when a parent used one child to take care of another. She says that I've been doing it since she could remember, and she HATED IT.

I looked it up, but I don't really think having to share her stuff and keep him entertained when we go out counts. Really, I mean it's basically babysitting!

My (38m) husband disagrees. He read up on it too and says that it checks a lot of boxes. He suggested therapy for her. I said I would have to think about it. He also said I should parent Austin more and stop leaving it to Beth.

So, this is my experience. Please tell me, am I being unreasonable here?

 

[Goodbloke]

Parenting has no rule book, what our parents did may no longer be relevant today. In the past with little birth control and huge families, siblings had to look out for each other, that was normal. No parent can be everywhere all at once. At 15, life is fairly hectic, teenage years are demanding on the young adult and the parents. Hormones, boys, school, social media, = stress. Fancy names for "life actually happens" are all the rage today. At 15 Beth is stretching her boundaries, there is a big age difference between Austin and her. Covid and all it's restrictions have placed enourmous stress on all family units. Home schooling is no easy task. Keep the conversations open and easy, at least there is conversation happening, life goes on. Embrace the challenges.