[Xe]

AIBU for not wanting my husband's brother to be in the delivery room?​

I’m currently 31 weeks with twins, a boy, and a girl. My husband and I are both 21 and were trying for a baby for about a year before we fell pregnant. I’ve had a pretty rough pregnancy, and my brother-in-law is a medical student, so he’s taken quite a lot of interest in my pregnancy and future delivery. We’ve always gotten on well. He’s 24. I’ve known my husband's family since we were children so we’ve pretty much grown up together.

A few days ago, my husband told me that my BIL had expressed an interest in being there whilst I gave birth, mainly due to it being beneficial from an educational standpoint to see a natural multiples birth, which is what I’m planning for. I know things can change on that front but hoping for that. Also so my husband can have support as I’ll have my mum. Worth mentioning that our hospital doesn’t have a restriction on the number of people who can be in the delivery room.

I said absolutely not, there is no way in hell I am allowing that. I’m not even overly keen on allowing my husband to watch me go through that, let alone his brother. He said it’d be a good experience for him and his degree and I said that as much as I supported him, my experience of having a pleasant birth was my priority. He got defensive and said he should be allowed to have a support person too, which I suppose I do understand, but I really just feel uncomfortable about it all. He said it was just as much his right as it was mine to have someone there to support him. It basically turned into a huge argument, with his brother and mom being dragged into it too. AIBU?

Source: www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r2xroz/

 

[Vinylted]

A modern twist back in my day men had to be dragged kicking & screaming into a delivery room, before that it was a big no no!

 

[Goodbloke]

Since you and your partner are the parents, personally I would limit it to just the two of you, (otherwise let’s bring in the extended family as well as the car park attendant )

 

[Quiltynut]

Your Brother in law will be given ample opportunity to witness and even conduct deliveries of babies during the six years of his degree course. It seems a bit voyeuristic to me.
I would say no. Perhaps you husband may wish to video the event and share with significant family later, but I personally would prefer it to be a private special moment between the husband and wife. Judith

 

[terryandcarol]

What do you want it's you giving birth so it's your choice in my opinion. It's a special moment between the 2 of you not an experience for your Brother in Law. Hope all goes well with the birth.

 

[Janw]

Definitely NO - you will have enough on your mind without having to worry about who is watching what. Tell him to wait until he can see his own baby borne. I wonder if he would welcome your husband in for that delivery?

 

[Superfrog]

Since you and your partner are the parents, personally I would limit it to just the two of you, (otherwise let’s bring in the extended family as well as the car park attendant )

My thoughts exactly, I mean where do you stop or do you sell tickets as well. Why does she need her mum for support? Isn't that what her hubby is there for. So in a nutshell just medical staff, herself (of course) and hubby, full stop that's enough

 

[Goodbloke]

My thoughts exactly, I mean where do you stop or do you sell tickets as well. Why does she need her mum for support? Isn't that what her hubby is there for. So in a nutshell just medical staff, herself (of course) and hubby, full stop that's enough

Good answer, however it wasn't her mum, it's her brother-in-law that wants to come in as an "observer".......I think thats a bit over the top.

 

[KatKop]

I’m currently 31 weeks with twins, a boy, and a girl. My husband and I are both 21 and were trying for a baby for about a year before we fell pregnant. I’ve had a pretty rough pregnancy, and my brother-in-law is a medical student, so he’s taken quite a lot of interest in my pregnancy and future delivery. We’ve always gotten on well. He’s 24. I’ve known my husband's family since we were children so we’ve pretty much grown up together.

A few days ago, my husband told me that my BIL had expressed an interest in being there whilst I gave birth, mainly due to it being beneficial from an educational standpoint to see a natural multiples birth, which is what I’m planning for. I know things can change on that front but hoping for that. Also so my husband can have support as I’ll have my mum. Worth mentioning that our hospital doesn’t have a restriction on the number of people who can be in the delivery room.

I said absolutely not, there is no way in hell I am allowing that. I’m not even overly keen on allowing my husband to watch me go through that, let alone his brother. He said it’d be a good experience for him and his degree and I said that as much as I supported him, my experience of having a pleasant birth was my priority. He got defensive and said he should be allowed to have a support person too, which I suppose I do understand, but I really just feel uncomfortable about it all. He said it was just as much his right as it was mine to have someone there to support him. It basically turned into a huge argument, with his brother and mom being dragged into it too. AIBU?

Source: www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r2xroz/

If your BIL plans to specialise as an obstetrician, I'm sure he will have another opportunity to see natural multiple births in his career. I'm not sure why you have both your mum and your husband there, but your husband is not giving birth and does not need any support whatsoever. If he faints, the nursing staff will take care of him!

 

[BabsL]

Unless you want him there, NO!
Tell your doctor, midwife, and the hospital that you do NOT want this pervert in the delivery room.
Why does he want to be there?
It's NOT normal. If you do not want him, that is yr decision.
Ban the brother (unless it is his baby),
Do yr parents know?