[Xe]

AIBU for not knowing how to run the house like my wife did for almost 50 years?​

My wife and I are 68, I retired about 3 years ago, and my wife is/was a nurse who went back to work for a “change of pace”. So for the first time ever I’m out of work, and she’s working. This has created a bit of an awkward dynamic since I have 0 experience doing chores (we got married and moved in together when we were 18, and before that, I lived with my mom). So I legitimately have never had to lift a finger at home till recently.

My wife packed my lunch and kissed me goodbye for 47 years. She was a bit shocked to discover I won’t be doing the same. She’s had to teach me how to cook since I had very little experience doing it (none actually), now the only thing I can do well is clean. So that is not an issue. But everything else that she used to do I’m just not capable of. She’s been less than understanding…

I feel that we should maybe split the chores

We recently got into an argument because I haven’t been able to, “do what I (she) did for almost 50 years” Which she’s right, but like I said….I have no experience with any of this stuff. I didn’t even want to retire since my dad and grandpa worked till the day they died, but she convinced me too. And now I’m stuck here. I’m doing my best.

Edit(s):

She got retrained before going back to work

I was not expected to help in any way before this. She was always a very meticulous housekeeper, and even now she didn’t expect me to help, up until I showed a willingness to help her take care of the house.

She was a Stay At Home Mum/Stay At Home Wife for a huge majority of our 50-year marriage and 55-year relationship. I’d say she worked for about 7 years total in that time.

 

[Vinylted]

My wife and I are 68, I retired about 3 years ago, and my wife is/was a nurse who went back to work for a “change of pace”. So for the first time ever I’m out of work, and she’s working. This has created a bit of an awkward dynamic since I have 0 experience doing chores (we got married and moved in together when we were 18, and before that, I lived with my mom). So I legitimately have never had to lift a finger at home till recently.

My wife packed my lunch and kissed me goodbye for 47 years. She was a bit shocked to discover I won’t be doing the same. She’s had to teach me how to cook since I had very little experience doing it (none actually), now the only thing I can do well is clean. So that is not an issue. But everything else that she used to do I’m just not capable of. She’s been less than understanding…

I feel that we should maybe split the chores

We recently got into an argument because I haven’t been able to, “do what I (she) did for almost 50 years” Which she’s right, but like I said….I have no experience with any of this stuff. I didn’t even want to retire since my dad and grandpa worked till the day they died, but she convinced me too. And now I’m stuck here. I’m doing my best.

Edit(s):

She got retrained before going back to work

I was not expected to help in any way before this. She was always a very meticulous housekeeper, and even now she didn’t expect me to help, up until I showed a willingness to help her take care of the house.

She was a Stay At Home Mum/Stay At Home Wife for a huge majority of our 50-year marriage and 55-year relationship. I’d say she worked for about 7 years total in that time.

 

[Defiant540]

AIBU???

 

[Thecheesequeen]

I have questions for this person -
1. If she has packed your lunch and kissed you goodbye for 47 years, why aren’t you taking a turn now? It takes zero cooking skill to make a sandwich.
2. Do you really mean that in all these years you’ve done NOTHING around the house? Well, you said you can clean, but then said you’re not capable of doing the other things she has always done.
3. Can you read? Because if you can read you can learn to cook. All recipe books come with instructions.
4. Are you willing to learn? Get your wife - or someone else - teach you a few basic recipes to get you started.
Grow up!

 

[Defiant540]

AIBU???

what does it mean??

 

[Ricci]

what does it mean??

Am I Being Unreasonable

 

[Ricci]

If you can press a button or two you can work both the washing machine and dishwasher, even the dryer if you have one.
Neither a broom or a duster need any special skills and the mop and bucket are fairly self explanatory. The vacuum cleaner won't run away if you press the on switch and take it for a walk round your house. All of these skills can be put under the umbrella of "getting your daily exercise and keeping fit"
Admittedly you might come a bit of a cropper with folding the laundry as we all have our favourite ways and no other will suffice!
Cooking is just a case of heating things through without incinerating or cremating them.. Start small and work up. A cup of tea/coffee when she comes home from work should earn you some brownie points. If you are scared of the stove and microwave fire up the barbeque, I'm sure like most guys you are the King of the Tongs!!