Xe

Well-known member
Oct 7, 2021
1,692
768
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AIBU for not clarifying my name?

I am a woman but have a name that can easily be confused for a man’s. I also run a business. About a week ago, I bumped into a lady running down the hallway who seemed incredibly nervous, causing me to spill my drink all over my shirt. She explained she was here for a job interview and was incredibly frazzled because she had heard the boss was horrible to work for.

I instantly knew she was talking about me, but the iced coffee soaking my clothes was my main focus, so I told her to follow me into my office and we would get to the interview when I cleaned myself up. She must have taken me saying ‘get to the interview’ as I would show her to the boss's office, not that I would sit down and start the interview in a moment. The entire time I was in the bathroom silently trying to dry myself off, she was talking about how she didn’t even know if she wanted to take this job because of how horrible the boss was.

I tried not to engage because I really didn’t want to stand there and listen to her talk about what an evil person I was, but I didn’t know how to break it to her that I’m Devyn, not Devon. When I finally got at least somewhat cleaned off, pulled a sweater over my stained shirt, and walked out, she was still going.

I told her we would start with the interview, and she looked confused, but quickly realized her mistake.

I apologized then told her I didn’t think she would be a good fit for the position. I didn’t care about what she said about me, I had thick skin and had heard far worse than that, she just seemed too nervous and frantic for a job you need to be calm and collected in.

She started yelling at me, telling me this was my fault and I should have stopped her.

My assistant has been giving me grief about it all week, and I’m starting to think he’s right. I see where he is coming from, I could have easily corrected her about my gender and status, but at the same time, I needed to monitor who I worked with, and someone this willing to gossip about a person they didn’t even know well enough to know the gender of didn’t seem like a good fit.

AIBU for not stopping her?
 
Hmmm maybe a reason for glass ceilings after all? She should be wondering about who's doing all the gossiping that is already in her employ?
 

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