[Athena E.]

AIBU 26.08.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Icy-Shelter9897:

Am I unreasonable for telling my wife I hate her new hobby?

'Recently my wife has taken to "fridgescaping", I guess it's a recent trend because I'd never heard about it before this. She started decorating our fridge, and it was really getting on my nerves. '

'For example, she put flowers in the fridge, in vases, in front of food so you have to move things just to get to the food. She put all our food in fancy baskets, jars, and similar things. I know it sounds absurd, but if you just search up “fridgescaping” you’ll see what I’m talking about.'

'I didn’t care at first because I don’t have to use the fridge much anyways, I don’t cook a lot. But she’s getting too meticulous with it and adding too much decor. It’s made the fridge very uninviting for me. She gets upset when I get something from the fridge and don’t put things back perfectly. She keeps taking it as a personal slight and acts like I’ve done something to deliberately hurt her, when I haven’t. I just find it unnecessary to maintain such an organised fridge. Before she started this, it would take me 30 seconds to grab something quick from the fridge, whereas now it’s a whole ordeal.'

'Last weekend, she confronted me after I grabbed some leftovers from the fridge and left it in “disarray” according to her. I explained how I find the hobby stupid, and she can decorate other things, it doesn’t have to be the fridge. It gets in the way when I want to quickly eat; when I come home from work hungry and tired and want to grab a quick bite it’s frustrating. '

'I also talked to my son about it, and he finds it annoying, which I told her. She didn’t argue back after that, and she’s removed all of the decorations from the fridge, which I have to admit has been relieving. But she’s also been acting very distant towards me and just hasn't been herself, and has been weird intimacy-wise.'

'Am I unreasonable for this?'

 

[Bill MacL]

Nah! I've never heard of that. She's a sandwich short of a picnic mate.

 

[FrankS]

Jeez, WHAT an idiot, she'd have you bowing down and saying a prayer before opening the fridge, next
Maybe it's a subtle way of starving you to death ???

 

[kdzimm]

Goodness, the poor women must be so bored she has to decorate her fridge. Maybe take her to therapy to see what the cause is. Was this "so called new fad" created by a phyc who gets paid bug bucks from the drug companies to experiment on people to see what the side effects are of their new "invention", but have to invent something for them to experiment on.

 

[MIZMAC]

crazy. The fridge is for food. What next?

 

[Jo Piper3]

It's great to keep a clean well organised fridge with everything to be found easily which I try to achieve (as I live with 3 men, husband and grown sons who now live at home). Flowers in the fridge sound unreasonable and dangerous and prone to spills.

 

[what]

NO not being unreasonable, I have never heard of this, but it sounds absolutely inane. Why would you decorate the inside of your fridge??

 

[Aussie all the Way]

Yep your are a dick, it's her hobby so just leave it be, sound's like father like son no tolerance for someone else enjoying something you don't understand. Maybe she is majorly bored perhaps you should look a little deeper at your self and find something you could both enjoy, gee did I really have to say that, yep.

 

[Witty]

Agree with all the comments. Maybe you could suggest that she has her own small area of the garden, patio or somewhere that she can decorate with garden ornaments, fairy garden or things that she likes. Or maybe help her find a local ladies group that meets weekly and does crafty things. Do you have a U3A near you?

 

[Kayer02]

OMG This poor woman needs help.. It sounds really weird ..He needs to make an appointment with a Psychiatrist fast. I think she is losing the plot

 

[Pommyoz]

Get your own fridge, buy your own food etc., and a padlock. Put up a sign saying Men Only.

 

[MariaG]

My advice,
Buy her a second fridge, maybe a little one that can go into a spare room. This might give you brownie points , and, you never know, she might be able to change to decorating with edibles and make them part of meal times.
Everyone needs the chance to follow their passion. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.
It is not worth the drama.

 

[Marilynne]

It's the last paragraph that really annoys me, it seems as though there was no middle ground between this family, and I wonder how bad it really was because some people do over-react. There is more to this than meets the eye, "she’s also been acting very distant towards him and just hasn't been herself and has been weird intimacy-wise." Maybe she is well and truly over him.

 

[Bridget Williams]

Could be that your wife is literally hungering for attention. When was it the last time you you really showed her you love her? I am not alluding to 'Intimacy wise' . I mean doing the little things that make a woman feel she is very special and truly appreciated. If she does not go out to work a woman's life can get very boring by herself in the house each day and all day. At least once a month give her a surprise treat - Take her out for a special meal; come home with a surprise gift; take her out for a drive somewhere beautiful; ask her to choose what she would like you to cook tonight. Get the idea? Like someone else has suggested, maybe she needs to get out and meet people more. There are many social groups a married couple can join. Ever heard of CHIRPY PLUS? Australia and even world wide. https://www.chirpyplus.com.au/ Look it up and find out if there is a group near you. I was surprised to find there are two within a half hour drive of my front door with many activities to join in with. Even a Coffee Morning can be a welcome break from the usual routine.

 

[Casper]

The only one being absurd is your wife and that behaviour boarders on complete crazy with me. Never heard of this. Maybe she should get her own fridge on the back porch to play with and leave that one alone for what it was designed for - storing food.

 

[Mrtnst]

Okay it's a crazy thing to decorate, and I would really hate vases of flowers in front of the food in my fridge.

But I think you went too far taking your dispute with her to your son and rubbing her nose in it.

You're husband and wife not flatmates.

You should show her the respect of keeping your disputes between the two of you.

 

[Frida1944]

Sounds as if this woman is winding her man up. Either that or she is an absolute fruitcake!

 

[Joydie]

Yep your are a dick, it's her hobby so just leave it be, sound's like father like son no tolerance for someone else enjoying something you don't understand. Maybe she is majorly bored perhaps you should look a little deeper at your self and find something you could both enjoy, gee did I really have to say that, yep.

Her husband isn't responsible for her happiness. I'm so tired of women expecting men to be all things to their female partners. It's increasingly common to read replies to letters like this blaming men.

I've had many hobbies over the years and none of them negatively affected my husband or son. You can bet your socks if the boot was on the other foot, the husband would still be in the wrong.

 

[Luckyus]

I honestly think I'd tell her for fuck's sake get a toy boy!!

 

[relljube]

NO people this is the latest in thing on tik tok apparently. Some dumb woman started this off because her fridge was so empty so she decided to decorate the inside!! Gen Z have no idea of cooking etc so have to fill their fridge with something. This wife obviously has delusions of becoming young again as she can copy tik tok!! Get her another fridge for herself & keep it in the garage. She can then be close to the rubbish bins for when the flowers etc start to get slimy.