[James Gutierrez]

AIBU 19.04.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Turbulent_Morning802:

Am I being unreasonable for not appreciating a birthday gift and being very clear that I don’t want it?

'I'm in my 50s and tired of receiving tech gifts. My kids are all into the latest gadgets, and despite my repeated attempts to tell them otherwise, they keep buying me technology. I use a computer for work all day, and when I'm home, I just want to relax without dealing with more tech.

What frustrates me the most is when they get me something and then get annoyed when I ask for help setting it up. For example, I had a simple TV setup that worked fine, but they got me a complicated smart TV that I hate dealing with.

I've made it abundantly clear that I prefer non-tech gifts like books or gift cards. Yet, for my birthday, they got me a tablet insisting I could read books on it. But I prefer physical books, not reading on a screen.

When I gave the tablet back, it sparked an argument. I felt exasperated because it seems like they don't listen to me. My son even called me ungrateful.'

We're eager to hear your perspectives, members! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

[Mrtnst]

No, you are not being unreasonable, they are being insensitive.

I had similar problems with my nice and nephew.

She worked in a chemist and repeatedly purchased hair care products for me, and scented soap for my mother. I am bald and mum has very sensitive skin which the perfumes irritated.

He always bought me alcohol, even after I had told him that I had stopped drinking completely. He also bought mum cheap jewellery that she couldn't wear because of her skin.

Neither my Brother nor his wife thought that they were doing anything wrong.

Repeatedly buying gifts that the recipient has said that they don't want is a clear sign that the giver isn't really taking the time to think about the recipient.

Even if you don't know what books to buy, buying tech instead when you have been told that they don't want tech is still insensitive.

 

[natalielocket]

Tell them that rather than presents, you would much rather be taken out to dinner. Or vouchers so can buy what you want or need. Your `Children` sound a bit insensitive.

 

[GrannyJA!]

Tell them that rather than presents, you would much rather be taken out to dinner. Or vouchers so can buy what you want or need. Your `Children` sound a bit insensitive.

I have saint for a sister in law, who buys me a gift voucher for 'booktopia' usually sitting in a basket of sweets. She has no problem with me adding the sweets to the table and knows how much I will value (and share) the books I buy.

 

[PepeLePew]

I too would have given it back cause for me nothing beats holding a real book in my hands to read. Don't even know how long the battery in a tablet lasts for and I'd be real pissed off if it went flat half way through a 3hr train trip to my sons house. Besides that I read every night in bed prior to sleeping and isn't screen time before bed really bad for you.
If the son thinks she's being ungrateful perhaps she should find something he's not into and start buying him gifts for that particular thing. Maybe then he'll realize what his Mum is trying to tell them.

 

[Luckyus]

I have found a perfect response for things I stated categorically I didn't want, and that thanking them for the gift I toss it in the bin. It doesn't take them long to get the message.

 

[Gsr]

I too would have given it back cause for me nothing beats holding a real book in my hands to read. Don't even know how long the battery in a tablet lasts for and I'd be real pissed off if it went flat half way through a 3hr train trip to my sons house. Besides that I read every night in bed prior to sleeping and isn't screen time before bed really bad for you.
If the son thinks she's being ungrateful perhaps she should find something he's not into and start buying him gifts for that particular thing. Maybe then he'll realize what his Mum is trying to tell them.

Great idea, buy them something inappropriate and keep doing it even if they tell you they don’t want the gift.