[Sethia Soliman]

AIBU 18.03.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have quite the dilemma from @730amamam/Reddit:

Am I being unreasonable for telling my mum to not have loud sex when I'm home?

'I'm a 20-year-old college student who is home for spring break. My parents have an open relationship and my father currently lives abroad. My mum seems to have started having her boyfriend live with her while my dad is away. They have a lot of sex and are very active in the kink lifestyle.

Today, around noon, they started having extremely loud sex in my parents' room. I've occasionally heard them, but usually can just put on headphones and/or go downstairs to avoid that. This time though, I could hear them no matter where I went. Our house is fairly large. She was full-on screaming. I had my headphones on loudly and was in the kitchen downstairs and could still fully hear them. I tried going outside, but because the window was open, that was even louder. I can't drive and we don't live near any public parks/libraries/etc, so there wasn't anywhere for me to go easily/cheaply.

I think because she knows I can't leave, it's not unreasonable for them to try to not be so loud. He thinks it isn't rude: people can do what they want in their homes and I should find a way to leave or block them out. Because I'm an adult, they don't have any responsibility to hide sex from me. Asking them to change things would be prudish/selfish, which would be hypocritical because I'm generally very sex-positive. He also brought up that sometimes when I have my partner over, he's had to move to the living room of our shared house (our rooms are next to each other and we have thin walls) or put in noise-cancelling headphones. I think there's a difference between having to change rooms and having to leave the building, but he doesn't: sex is sex, and movement is movement.

I am thinking about talking to my mum instead, telling her that, while I'm home, I would appreciate them trying to keep it down. I expect it to be awkward, but in my opinion, the only thing worse than talking about my mum's sex life is having to continue to hear it. Would that be rude? Are they (my mum and her boyfriend) rude for not considering that?'

We're eager to hear your perspectives, members! Please, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

[Gazman]

Obviously, she is enjoying it. Lucky her to be having a great sex life. Grow up and find somewhere else to live.

 

[ElizabethL]

Move out. It’s her house not yours.

 

[Gazman]

Move out. It’s her house not yours.

Agree totally, move out and grow up!

 

[emorc]

On ly love here is self love

 

[SirExton]

Get your girlfriend to scream even louder!!!

 

[Agave]

No you're not being unreasonable. You are the adult one in this situation and your mum + boyfriend are selfish and childish

 

[Lizzylou]

Get your girlfriend to scream even louder!!!

I think you will find it is his boyfriend.

 

[Lizzylou]

Easy enough to say move out or go somewhere else but I can't see any reason that he can't speak to his mum and ask that they keep it down a bit please.

 

[Mimi76]

No you're not being unreasonable. You are the adult one in this situation and your mum + boyfriend are selfish and childish

I agree! When you know someone else in the house you should keep the noise down!!

 

[Lizzylou]

I agree! When you know someone else in the house you should keep the noise down!!

I agree with you

 

[lynstacker]

It is her house, however a conversation with your mother might not hurt. Alternative: find somewhere else to live

 

[FrankS]

I understand that it would be embarressing, BUT Grow up snowflake !
It's your Mother's house, not yours !
Either grin and bare it, or piss off out to your own place, where you can indulge your sensibilities to your hearts content !

 

[Jest]

not one has made a remark about the husband. is he getting his rocks off else where.

 

[PepeLePew]

I remember years ago reading about a couple in England who were charged for having very loud sex as it was disturbing all the neighbours. Perhaps you could anonymously report them to the cops. If you can hear them outside your house then perhaps so can the people next door.

 

[Ezzy]

You are only home for Spring Break so it is not as though you are home 365 days listening to the noise.

Granted though, knowing you are there, they should display a bit of decorum at those times.

Do you behave the same with your partner when he is there?

You stated the window was open & you could hear them outside. I wonder what the neighbours think when they hear this? Perhaps that is their reason for keeping the widow open? Showism perhaps?

 

[Bill Mcl]

A friend asked me where could he go to meet women who scream in bed? So I took him to the Maternity ward.

 

[gamiry]

No you're not being unreasonable. You are the adult one in this situation and your mum + boyfriend are selfish and childish

OH PLEASE get a life. You are a visitor so cop it or get out.