[Danielle G.]

AIBU 13.12.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Angels_of_Death_Zack:

Am I being unreasonable for not including the 'entire family' in a quilt I made for my mother?

'So, a little while ago, it was my mother's birthday. I like to sew, so I thought it would be a good idea to make her a quilt. I had the idea to make some of the squares family photos, so I got some family pictures printed out onto fabric, and added them in the quilt. It had me, my siblings, and my parents. When I gave the quilt to my mother, she seemed happy at first before she looked at all the photos. She looked disappointed, and when I questioned why, she said that she was upset that I didn't have any photos including the dog.'

'Now, as a bit of a side note, I have always had a phobia of dogs, which people never really got about me. We do have a dog in the house, but I choose to not acknowledge it or be around it. My mother knows very well my fear of them. But, she treats this dog like it's her own son. She cooks it meals everyday, gets it food at McDonalds, gives it many presents during Christmas, and practically every framed photo in the house is of the dog rather than anyone else. Essentially, she treats it less like it is a dog, and more like it is a human child, even calling it her youngest son.'

'So, I didn't include the dog in the quilt, but I thought that she would like it anyways, since it features her human family. (It’s not like I had photos of the dog on my phone anyways...) And now, my mother seems to really dislike the gift. I asked her if she doesn't like the quilt, and she just sighed and said that it was cruel of me to not include her youngest in the quilt. I feel bad. Since I am moving away soon, I wanted to give her a nice hand-made gift, since I've never done that before, but she seems so disappointed with it. I thought the photos I picked out were nice. Some were recent, but most of them were from many years ago, before they even got the dog.'

'My dad is telling me that it is perfectly fine that I didn't include the dog, and that the quilt is still very nice, but my brother seems angry with me, saying that I can't just leave out family members in a 'family themed' quilt.'

'It's been around a week since that happened, and my mom has never once used or even touched the quilt. I looked and found that she put it under her bed. I feel sad, but also guilty. I feel really bad, since I just wanted to make her happy. My mother has also been a bit more distant with me as well, so I'm scared that our relationship will be affected by this.'

 

[LJ Cool]

Just get some pics of the dog and put them on. Make an old lady happy. It doesn't matter. Say it was remiss of you to forget, problem solved, move on. As for the other members of your family, that's their problem. You're doing this for your Mum, not them.

 

[Witty]

Unfortunately when a quilt is finished you really can't add anything to it. If your mother really doesn't like it - apologise or just say you are sorry that she didn't like it and take it back and keep it for yourself.

Instead make her a couple of cushions with her dog photos on it. Much easier than trying to add anything to something that is already finished.

 

[gayle222]

Oh dear how sad. I have made a few quilts(not well) so I appreciate the time and money involved. Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s a beautiful gift I’m sure was made with love. Sad to say your Mum is being very cruel. I have dogs, I love my dogs and spoil them rotten. I would not expect anyone to do the same with my dogs. Be proud of what you made,if it bothers you that much….ask your Mum if she really doesnt like it would she be prepared to give it back to you

 

[Rosi Gordon]

You made the quilt for her and if she loves that dog then he/she could've been included. Making a quilt for yourself then the dog doesn't need to be included but it isn't so make a cushion cover with a portrait of the dog to make your mum happy as you don't know how long you will still have her around.

 

[CliffE]

Make a very big cake, that way everyone can get a piece.

 

[relljube]

Why not make a patchwork pillowcase that she can put on the bed with the quilt. But for God's sake make sure you include photos of the dog, Mum and Dad. The rest of the family can make their own arrangements.

 

[PattiB]

I think your mother should show some gratitude for the amazing gift of a handmade quilt. So what if you forgot the dog.

 

[Noon]

Your mother is being a silly old lady & very rude. From now on don't buy her or make her any gifts ever again, she's disrespectful.

 

[natalielocket]

Your mother is being a silly old lady & very rude. From now on don't buy her or make her any gifts ever again, she's disrespectful.

Agree. Your Mother is behaving like a spoilt brat.