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Danielle G.

Danielle G.

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AIBU 13.09.2024


AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/samgoodhind:

Am I being unreasonable for asking my girlfriend's sister to pay me back for an expensive wine she spilled?



'I have been dating my girlfriend, Sarah, for about a year now. We were invited to a big family dinner at her parents’ house to celebrate her mom’s birthday. It was a formal event, so I decided to bring a bottle of wine as a gift for the family—a really expensive one. I’m kind of a wine enthusiast, and I wanted to make a good impression.'

'Everything was going fine until Sarah’s sister, Megan, who had already had a couple of glasses of wine, got a little tipsy and clumsy.'


'She knocked over my expensive bottle, shattering it on the floor. My prized wine was wasted—and she just laughed it off like it was no big deal, saying, “Oops, sorry!” and continued talking.'

'I didn’t want to cause a scene, but I was annoyed. I asked Megan if she could at least chip in to replace the wine she destroyed. She got all defensive, saying it was an accident and that nobody expected her to pay for things that break at family events. She acted like I was the one being rude for even asking, and Sarah said it wasn’t the time or place to bring it up.'

'I dropped it during dinner, but later that night, I brought it up again privately with Sarah, and she was upset with me, saying it’s just wine and I shouldn’t have made a big deal out of it.'

'I pointed out that it wasn’t just any wine, it was expensive, and Megan should be more careful, especially since she was tipsy. Sarah still thinks I’m being ridiculous and “stingy” for asking her sister to cover the cost, and now Megan refuses to apologise.'

'Now, Sarah’s family thinks I’m overreacting, but I feel like Megan should take responsibility for breaking something that valuable, even if it was an accident. Am I being unreasonable for asking for the money, or is her sister just being inconsiderate?'
 
Yes, you are being unreasonable to expect to be paid back for such an accident. It was your choice alone to buy an expensive wine in a vain attempt to impress the parents, not the sister, and accidents happen (especially at a party with drinking involved).

Next time, you just buy an expensive wine, decant it into another bottle for personal use, then fill the expensive empty bottle with a cheaper, but nice tasting wine. It will be equally appreciated and impress the parents just as much, and if it gets spilled it doesn't matter, lol. As it is right now, all you've achieved is to put the whole family offside over the issue, which neither pleases nor impresses anyone.
 
The wine had been given and received - no longer your responsibility. For all you know, the parents could well have re-gifted it themselves at some time.
I had a lovely light-up souvenir I had bought on my travels to a distant country broken by an unsupervised child in my home, nothing to be done except to be gracious, disappointed that I was. Said family recently went to the same place, unfortunately that particular souvenir is no longer available, probably unbeknownst to them, but hadn't been forgotten and was replaced with a similar one, not the same, but the gesture was appreciated.
 
As we all know, once "Grog" is introduced at any function, all "Hell" can break out. This is just another example. Everything becomes at risk. Even "Good Intentions".

Better luck next time with your choices.
 

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