[Athena E.]

AIBU 07.10.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Acceptable-Essay-490:

Am I being unreasonable for refusing to pay a neighbour for cutting my lawn when I didn't ask him to?

'I (29M) recently bought my first house. I'm settling in and like the neighbourhood, and a few neighbours even came by to say hello. They included a woman (43F) and her 13-year-old son.'

'Not long after, I was on my couch one afternoon and saw the son outside, mowing my front lawn. I was confused, since I'd never asked him to and he'd never offered. I went out and politely asked him why he was doing it - he said he did it for lots of neighbours and quickly added they give him $5 for it. I found it really weird, so thanked him for the partial work he'd done, before explaining that since I hadn't asked or wanted him to do it, I wasn't going to be paying him. He said OK, and quietly left my lawn.'

'I figured that might be the end of it - just a kid trying to make some money, resolved with no harm done, end of story. But the next day his mum arrived on my doorstep and angrily asked me why I hadn't paid her son. I basically repeated what I'd said to her son, but she wouldn't accept it. She just kept saying that it was a kind gesture and that he does it for all the other neighbours. She also said $5 isn't a lot of money and I could have just gave it to him. '

'I kept trying to explain that an agreement like that needs to be set up ahead of time otherwise it's nothing more than a random demand for money, but she basically tuned me out and ended up walking away as I was talking. I was amazed the adult in the situation was handling it worse than the literal child was. I'm wondering how much longer this will go on for.'

'That was last week. Every time I've seen her since, she's stared daggers at me or made a show of crossing the street to avoid me. I'm not instigating anything further - I really have no desire to speak to her - but I'm thinking she might try to send her poor kid back to collect the money, or even mow the lawn again.'

'I've vented about this to family and friends, and while most seemed to agree with me, some said I should have been grateful and paid the boy, and just told them from then on not to mow the lawn. I can't tell if I've been unreasonable here, or if my reaction to the whole thing was entirely justified.'

 

[Gazman]

Where do those people get off? I agree with you completely, I know it's stupid but this is how extortion works. You definitely have a problem, however it's not of your making. Good luck in the future, I guess you may need it.

 

[Marilynne]

Me being me would have paid the kid the $5 but let him know his services would not be required in the future. I would have also explained it was very rude not to have asked me first and if the mother wasn't happy with that, I would have told her in no uncertain terms what she could do with herself.

 

[Marvin Kombi]

Kudos to the kid. Good try buddy, but wrong nonetheless.
By the sounds of things (only knowing one side of the story) it seems you handled it the right way. One cannot enter into an arrangement for money if the paying party has not agreed to it or, indeed, had no prior knowledge of the said arrangement. That’s the legal angle of the situation. However, ethically, it would have been good manners just to pay the kid his five bucks then set him straight on the proper way of asking permission first.
As for the mother? Sounds to me like she needs a few lessons in manners and setting a good example. (A trait sadly missing in some young parents these days!)

 

[MariaG]

Reading between the lines, I think it is the boy's mother who is pulling the strings.
Odds on that mum says, now give that one a try.
A good parent teaches the child how to knock on a door and ask first. Good on the boy for having a go. Pity he has a mum with no idea of ethics or manners.
I think the boy's reaction was good. The only mistake he made was to tell mum that there is no kick back coming to her for that house.
I am all for enterprise and hope the lad figures out the proper way to run his little business.

 

[Luckyus]

If she had done to herself, what I would have told her to. She wouldn't have a son to bloody annoy me?

 

[novezar]

Just another bit of "Grassy" stuff to write about. I ask, Who's interested ?

 

[FrankS]

What a miserable arsehole You Are !!! $5 for Christ's sake ! You'd make a lifelong enemy of your neighbours, for the sake of a miserable $5 !!! Pull your head out of your arse far enough to realise that in life, you get a lot further on for a bit of give and take .
Technically you are right, but,there are a lot better ways to teach a child to be a loving and caring adult than acting like an arse-hole !
Instead of sitting on the lounge playing video games the kid showed the enterprise to act like an adult and get out and earn his own pocket money instead of begging from his parents !!! SHAME ON YOU !!! Keep looking over your shoulder, because karma will be out to get you !!! Christ help your children or grandchildren !!! being lumbered with an Arsehole like you !!!

 

[Philip Pettit]

Not unreasonable.....

Philip

 

[Jo Piper3]

What a miserable arsehole You Are !!! $5 for Christ's sake ! You'd make a lifelong enemy of your neighbours, for the sake of a miserable $5 !!! Pull your head out of your arse far enough to realise that in life, you get a lot further on for a bit of give and take .
Technically you are right, but,there are a lot better ways to teach a child to be a loving and caring adult than acting like an arse-hole !
Instead of sitting on the lounge playing video games the kid showed the enterprise to act like an adult and get out and earn his own pocket money instead of begging from his parents !!! SHAME ON YOU !!! Keep looking over your shoulder, because karma will be out to get you !!! Christ help your children or grandchildren !!! being lumbered with an Arsehole like

Sorry, but your language is intolerable.

 

[Rockyd]

Me being me would have paid the kid the $5 but let him know his services would not be required in the future. I would have also explained it was very rude not to have asked me first and if the mother wasn't happy with that, I would have told her in no uncertain terms what she could do with herself.

Agreed

 

[maxesmum]

I’d have paid him then made it clear he wasn’t to come back.

 

[FrankS]

Sorry, but your language is intolerable.

For the benefit of the prissy little sensitive petals on here - YES the kid was in the wrong - YES he should have politely asked you If you would like your grass cutting - YES The kid should have realised that THE way to get on in life, is to beg pocket money from your parents - YES - The kid should have showed that he appreciated that showing initiiative doesn''t count for anything these days - YES he should have realised that you couldn't afford $5 AND YES YOU ARE STILL AN ARSE-HOLE.
Intolerable language spoken here !!!

 

[Jo Piper3]

For the benefit of the prissy little sensitive petals on here - YES the kid was in the wrong - YES he should have politely asked you If you would like your grass cutting - YES The kid should have realised that THE way to get on in life, is to beg pocket money from your parents - YES - The kid should have showed that he appreciated that showing initiiative doesn''t count for anything these days - YES he should have realised that you couldn't afford $5 AND YES YOU ARE STILL AN ARSE-HOLE.
Intolerable language spoken here !!!

Sorry my 'Like' was a mistake

 

[electricblanket]

You are correct, but $5 is a very small amount and maybe you could have talked to the boy and explained that he should have asked you first before doing the mowing. Also, dont talk to his mother anymore, just write down what you have said so that she can refer to it when she is not angry.

 

[Cheviegirl]

No way would I pay the little blackmailer. He should have knocked on your door & asked IF you wanted your lawn cut! We prefer to cut our own lawn. The Mother is very wrong. Bring your child up with manners.

 

[Jennylolo]

it's wrong regardless. You don't do something on another's property and say they have to pay for it without having asked if they could do it in the first place. He's trespassing as well if that was the front lawn. It's not about $5. This is not being kind as there wouldn't be a fee.

I came home from work one arvo to find a company I had not hired and a man having just mowed my council strip on the roadside of the footpath. I asked him what he was doing. He said "cutting your grass". I told him as you have completed it I'll pay but I did not hire you, nor did my other company nor yourself or your
company bother to contact me about the change. Nor ask if I agreed. It was also more $. and had to pay in cash, which left me with no cash afterwards.

I did not arrange for another time and this time he messaged saying he was coming on X date and time. I said no I have not agreed to this company taking it over. He asked if he had done something wrong and I said yes, like the other company who came weekly then fortnightly cutting nothing as it was basically dirt due to his scalping it and you did the same.

 

[Woody08]

I do like the way the boy is trying to make some pocket money, but he should have asked permission first. Some people like me mow their lawns at a certain height in summer & a different height in winter. I am very fussy how I mow my lawn, & would not be happy if someone came along & mowed it shorter than it should be & the lawn became invested with weeds. I mow my lawn one way & then mow it the opposite way, just like the way putting greens are mowed. Thank goodness this problem hasn't happened to me.

 

[BellaB18]

This boys mother is wrong. Maybe the child could have knocked on your door and said. Hi l am blabla, l mow the lawns for some of the neighbours, they pay me $5. I was wondering would you be interested in me doing your lawn?
Then you could have said thank you but no thank you. Maybe you could have given the child the $5 let him finish the job thanked him, then made it clear you don't need his services in future. He is just a child. The mother is in the wrong and not setting a good example.
Kind regards Vicki

 

[Miss Jewel]

It's perfectly reasonable for you to respond this way. You have taught the kid to ask first. The woman is a master manipulator I suspect, in other aspects too. Eg. She would bake a cake and take it to someone and then later demand money for it!