[Athena E.]

AIBU 07.10.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Acceptable-Essay-490:

Am I being unreasonable for refusing to pay a neighbour for cutting my lawn when I didn't ask him to?

'I (29M) recently bought my first house. I'm settling in and like the neighbourhood, and a few neighbours even came by to say hello. They included a woman (43F) and her 13-year-old son.'

'Not long after, I was on my couch one afternoon and saw the son outside, mowing my front lawn. I was confused, since I'd never asked him to and he'd never offered. I went out and politely asked him why he was doing it - he said he did it for lots of neighbours and quickly added they give him $5 for it. I found it really weird, so thanked him for the partial work he'd done, before explaining that since I hadn't asked or wanted him to do it, I wasn't going to be paying him. He said OK, and quietly left my lawn.'

'I figured that might be the end of it - just a kid trying to make some money, resolved with no harm done, end of story. But the next day his mum arrived on my doorstep and angrily asked me why I hadn't paid her son. I basically repeated what I'd said to her son, but she wouldn't accept it. She just kept saying that it was a kind gesture and that he does it for all the other neighbours. She also said $5 isn't a lot of money and I could have just gave it to him. '

'I kept trying to explain that an agreement like that needs to be set up ahead of time otherwise it's nothing more than a random demand for money, but she basically tuned me out and ended up walking away as I was talking. I was amazed the adult in the situation was handling it worse than the literal child was. I'm wondering how much longer this will go on for.'

'That was last week. Every time I've seen her since, she's stared daggers at me or made a show of crossing the street to avoid me. I'm not instigating anything further - I really have no desire to speak to her - but I'm thinking she might try to send her poor kid back to collect the money, or even mow the lawn again.'

'I've vented about this to family and friends, and while most seemed to agree with me, some said I should have been grateful and paid the boy, and just told them from then on not to mow the lawn. I can't tell if I've been unreasonable here, or if my reaction to the whole thing was entirely justified.'

 

[Gazman]

Where do those people get off? I agree with you completely, I know it's stupid but this is how extortion works. You definitely have a problem, however it's not of your making. Good luck in the future, I guess you may need it.

 

[Marilynne]

Me being me would have paid the kid the $5 but let him know his services would not be required in the future. I would have also explained it was very rude not to have asked me first and if the mother wasn't happy with that, I would have told her in no uncertain terms what she could do with herself.

 

[Marvin Kombi]

Kudos to the kid. Good try buddy, but wrong nonetheless.
By the sounds of things (only knowing one side of the story) it seems you handled it the right way. One cannot enter into an arrangement for money if the paying party has not agreed to it or, indeed, had no prior knowledge of the said arrangement. That’s the legal angle of the situation. However, ethically, it would have been good manners just to pay the kid his five bucks then set him straight on the proper way of asking permission first.
As for the mother? Sounds to me like she needs a few lessons in manners and setting a good example. (A trait sadly missing in some young parents these days!)