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James Gutierrez

Staff member
Oct 11, 2021
AIBU 07.06.2024

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Gransnet/Summerdays24:

Am I being unreasonable for being late to a birthday?

'I have a tight-knit group of eight friends, and our bond spans over 13 years, practically since our kids were born. Last week, we gathered to celebrate Friend A's birthday with drinks and dinner. However, I've been dealing with my own struggles lately. I recently had surgery and am still fragile, plus my husband received a devastating diagnosis of a rare, life-limiting disease.

On the night of the birthday, I had to skip the drinks portion because my husband's train got cancelled, and he was running late from the office. However, I made it in time for dinner. As soon as I arrived, things took a sour turn.

Friend A expressed disappointment and anger about me missing the drinks. It caught me completely off guard, especially considering she knew about my situation. Another friend chimed in, mentioning how she managed to be on time despite having four kids. Then, another friend criticised me for not being more organised.

Feeling overwhelmed and embarrassed, I started to cry. Thankfully, one friend stepped in to defend me, but it seemed like the group was divided, with some still criticising me.

The experience left me feeling sick and deeply hurt. It almost felt like they had planned to confront me before I even arrived. Is it ever okay for a group to collectively target one person like that? I'm still grappling with the hurt and questioning if I want to maintain these friendships. Despite always being reliable, I'm not sure if I can handle being treated like this again.'

We're eager to hear your perspectives, members! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Years ago one of my friends was always late so I used give her the time to meet but at least 30mins earlier. We were always pleased to catch up and see each other & be together for while. The lady in question arrived in time for dinner so what was their problem? What an unfortunate group of people to have for friends.
A true friend will take the bus with you when the Rolls Royce is in the workshop.

These aren't true friends & obviously discussed the subject with criticism before this lady arrived. She arrived for the most important part of the party.

As a primary school student l had a party with 4 friends. One was unable to come with us to the theatre & l was disappointed. Without telling me he was coming, my 4th friend cycled around to our home with a gift arriving in time for the celebration. This meant so much to me & our friendship because of the effort he made to join us for the eats & cake. We remained friends for years after.

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