[Danielle G.]

AIBU 03.01.2025​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Magewood115:

Am I being unreasonable for writing my siblings out of my will?

'For context, my brother (30M) and sister (25F) have lived very far from me for a long period of time (for me), going on a over a decade now. They never bothered to include me as a sibling growing up and have continued the tradition into adulthood.'

'Contact is sparse at best, and only when initiated by a mutual 3rd party, never voluntary on their end, and all attempts from me are ignored. I have received a medical diagnosis that isn't looking good and I wanted to ensure that, should the worst come, my affairs would be in order over the next few years. I updated my living will recently (family doesn't know I have one) and struck them from it, barring them from receiving anything, instead leaving assets to my parents with instructions on their provisioning.'

'Friends have told me that I'm being harsh and I should include them, but I hardly know them any more and any interactions have been largely negative over the past 10-15 years. I could care less what happens after I'm gone but I don't want what I worked hard for to go to them. Am I being unreasonable?'

 

[MIZMAC]

Leave things the way you want. Possibly your parents would benefit and your siblings should be able to look after themselves.

 

[Jennylolo]

Not at all. Siblings don't get an automatic right to inherent, although my younger sister believes she will get her hands on all of my things! She wasn't the only one in my will! The will including her was changed back in 1993! and only a few years ago she made claims, that got back to me, that she was getting everything of mine. Really 30 years down the track she thinks I still have the same will.
As for my siblings who I have nothing to do with (or they with me or each other) and have never been in my will. I know I am not in theirs.
A more recent one I had my niece and mentioned one of her children to include her siblings etc if my niece predeceased me to divide her share between them. But as things have developed these children/adults will no longer be recipients. During my niece's divorce, her ex claimed she didn't need to have some of their property value or his super, actually stated she was inheriting from me.
His and her lawyers said - why is your aunt dying? Her reply - alive and kicking!. They both burst out laughing at his claim. He responded he had read the will and knows its contents! What makes him think it was not redone after they separated. 5+years before proceeding s of divorce and division of everything even were instigated.. What a joke. And why had he even read it without permission from me or my niece? And they told him even if she was in the will, it had nothing to do with division of property.

This is when the true personalities come out, when possible inheritance rears its head.
I'm about to update mine again.
Make sure you keep your will updated as circumstances change.

 

[0498 805 634]

I don’t think you are being unreasonable. My son (26) now lives in Melb in an apartment that I helped finance. Since his departure he has become more and more distant. I am in the process of making my will and have been advised by my solicitor that I have to leave him something otherwise he can contest. Think you may need to talk to experts!

 

[Bullwinkle]

You are NOT being unreasonable!!
As I see it, you have work hard for what you have…I’m all for leaving whatever you have to whoever you want. Having very little contact with them, over the past 10 years or so…you obviously do not matter to them, so why are you worrying about them..
Leave your affairs as you want them, do not take any pressure from your friends, to include your siblings….
Take care, look after the most important person - you!!

 

[Defiant540]

NO!

 

[Suzanne rose]

This person is definitely not being unreasonable.

There is nothing saying you have to leave something to your siblings.

Really it's only your children who can contest a will.

 

[Veggiepatch]

I have three children whom only two will benefit from my meagre will. I haven't spoken to my elder daughter for over 20 years since she did the dirty on me, resulting in legal repercussions at my expense.

As for siblings, I have none, Mum stating that she "would never unleash another me into this world". Just like me, she didn't mince words!

 

[Nozmo]

No you are not being unreasonable at all.

 

[janj]

No you are not unreasonable

 

[PepeLePew]

I'm planning on a very quiet exit from this world with no fanfare, funeral notice etc and just a graveside burial with my loved ones present and the only children that I have anything to do with are aware of my wishes. Plans are in place and some have been executed so that certain parties will have no access to anything from me if they ever find out that I am no longer here as they made a choice 30+yrs ago to cut me from their lives.

 

[Penny4]

That's the advantage of a will. People can do as they please.

 

[Luckyus]

Leave it to whoever you want.

 

[Kevin. A.]

Money and wills always bring out the true colours in people. If your relatives have not bothered with you and ignored you for the past ten to fifteen years, then you have every right not to include them in your will. However, I would suggest not knowing what provisions you have placed on your parents in the event of you passing away before they do. If your parents have made out a will which includes your other family members then you could end up giving them your hard earnings anyway. Perhaps donating to charities could be one way of ensuring your spiteful ignorant siblings do not get a share in your will.