[Vinylted]

A Revised apology.​

Since national apologies are in vogue, here is one that Prime Minister Albanese should be giving to Aboriginals:

We apologise for helping you to read and teaching you the English language, which opened up to you, European civilisation, thought and enterprise.

We apologise for giving you free/subsidised doctors, hospitals, medical care and medication, that help you to live longer than you ever did before colonisation.

We apologise for mapping Australia and being the first to inform you of the size and location of the continent that you had inhabited for 60,000 years - without which, you wouldn't know what you had 'sovereignty' over.

We apologise for the colonisation as you would have preferred the kinder Spanish, Japanese or Indonesians.

We apologise for giving you law and order, which has helped to prevent you from slaughtering one another and at times eating the victims.
We apologise for developing agriculture which today feeds your people, whereas before you survived by living off the land and often starving during droughts.

We must apologise for building houses for you, which you have largely neglected, vandalised or destroyed.

We apologise for providing you with clothing made of fabric to replace the animal skins you wore.

We apologise for constructing roads and railways and building cars, so that you no longer have to walk great distances in the heat over harsh terrain.

We apologise for providing your own national television station (NITV), which you use to condemn those who made it possible, financially and technologically.
We apologise for giving you vehicles, petrol, boats, firearms, fishing gear and other non-traditional methods, which you now use to carry out 'traditional hunting and fishing'.

We apologise for subsidising your travel costs to attend family funerals.

We apologise for not charging you rent on any lands, while whites have to pay rent.
We apologise for giving you concessional loans.

We apologise for our police who unfairly arrest you for all the theft and burglaries some of your people commit.

We apologise for aboriginal parents not sending their kids to school and then blaming us for their disadvantage.

We apologise for developing oil wells and minerals, which you never utilised.

We apologise for developing Uluru and Kakadu, then handing them over to you so that you can receive the tourist income.
We apologise for taxpayers' money being paid towards your celebration events such as NAIDOC Week.

We apologise for working hard to pay taxes which finance your welfare, medical care, education, etc., to the tune of $35 billion each year.

We apologise for appointing Ministers for Indigenous Affairs in each state and federally to focus on you.

We apologise for not appreciating your Welcome to Country ceremonies, for which we pay, even though they imply that we are merely visitors on this land.
We apologise for the 'white-aboriginal' activists who are living very well on government-funded gravy trains, while some of you live in poverty.

We apologise for having racist doubts about such people who are genetically mostly European but identify as aboriginal.

We do apologise and humbly beg your forgiveness for all of our sins, past, present and emerging.
To make amends, we are only too happy to take back all of the above and return you to your utopian traditional stone age lifestyle somewhere in the Outback. Just let us know when you are ready to revert.

 

[Littleboy8]

A Revised apology.​

That’s brilliant