[Danielle G.]

A pet accident, and a stained leather jacket sowed conflict for this family - who was being unreasonable?​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Pretzelmamma:

Am I being unreasonable for not replacing my nephew's leather jacket after my dog had an accident on it?

'We have 3 dogs, 1 of which we took in recently when his owner died. He's nice but prefers quiet and when we have guests he will go upstairs to our bedroom and chill on our bed. Also, he's only ever had dry food and anything different upsets his stomach which causes a hygiene issue as he has long fur.'

'This weekend, we had family over and everyone brought food for a buffet, my 3 brothers, their wives and lots of adult / teen children. We've had issues previously where people don't listen to us about the dogs and sneaking them food is common.'

'So as they were coming in, I was loudly announcing "don't feed Pickles any treats or human food". Anyone caught will be the one upstairs shampooing the poop out of his fur.'

'My sister-in-law laughed and made some comment about me being unnecessarily graphic, so I pointed out that people hadn't listened in the past and I was not playing around this time because Pickles was more sensitive than our other dogs.'

'Anyway, later on my husband found a piece of sausage roll on the floor upstairs. Nephew Dave (19) admitted he'd tried to make friends with Pickles by giving him food. My husband and I were not happy but everyone else brushed it off as not a big deal. I went up to check on Pickles and that's when I realised that everyone had put their coats in our room when they arrived.'

'They'd always done this in the past and honestly I never thought to tell them different. Anyway he'd obviously eaten something and got an upset stomach, not wanted to come downstairs with a crowd there so he'd had a small accident, some of which had got on Dave's leather jacket. He's never had an accident in the house before.'

'I called my husband and took Pickles into the shower to get cleaned up. People came up to see what was happening and when Dave saw his jacket he was furious, raised voice and red faced accusing me of making the dog do it on purpose to prove a point.'

'We cleaned it off with antibacterial wipes and it was fine, no smell or marks on the leather although obviously for hygiene reasons it would need cleaning properly.'

'Well that was the end of the party, everyone left pretty quickly not wanting to be in the middle of it but Dave and Tracy stayed behind yelling until my brother persuaded them to leave saying we'd "sort it out later." It was a mess but honestly I thought it would blow over but it hasn't.'

'Dave and Tracy are both texting me saying we need to pay $300 for a new jacket. I keep saying no it was his own fault and I was the one who ended up cleaning up poop.'

'Husband was on my side at first but is wavering, he says we knew they'd ignore us and we should've taken more care to put the coats in another room. He said I'm focusing on being technically right, Dave is just a teen and this is not the hill we should die on.'

'So, am I being unreasonable? We can afford to replace it. Had Pickles chewed his coat I'd replace it in a heartbeat. I offered to pay cleaning but that's not good enough for him.'

 

[PattiB]

It’s simple, if you are asked not to feed the dog & you ignore it, then it serves you right if your jacket gets polluted. Maybe the family will listen next time. No way would I replace his jacket.
Enjoy a break from inconsiderate relatives for a while.

 

[Jerry5]

You are taking the right stance. You pre-warned guests not to feed the dog and they ignored you. You cleaned up the mess. You offered to have jacket professionally cleaned. Dave, on the other hand, has not acknowledged that his deliberate actions ( despite being instructed not to feed the dog) caused the issue. Trying to blame you for encouraging the dog to actually make the mess in your own room is the sign of an irresponsible, immature idiot. Tell him to piss off and grow up!!!

 

[Towing]

At least it was Dave's jacket, not another person become an accidental victim.
Maybe you should ban Dave from visiting. He was the one who ignored your request and made your dog ill. There was the risk that they dog could have suffered more than he did and needed urgent vet care. Would he paid a vet bill??