[Luckyus]

A Leopard in England​

A hiker, clearly shaken, enters a remote English village pub, his clothes all torn and he's full of scratches.

"You won't believe this," he says to the bartender. "I was attacked by a leopard!"

"Really?"

"Yes! A leopard! In England!" The hiker sits down and orders the strongest liquor they've got. "I tried to run, but it was of course much faster than me."

The hiker gets his glass, empties it, and asks for another. "It sent me to the ground with a mighty push from its paws, but weirdly enough it then just gave me a really sad look and left." "Ah, you met Father Andrews," the bartender says, matter-of-factly. "What do you mean?" asks the tourist, confused.

"Father Andrews was our priest. A truly kind-hearted man, loved by all. His only goal in life was to serve his congregation as well as he could. So when he one day found a lamp with a genie, his very first wish was to be a loving shepherd to the community."

"That's nice "

"Absolutely, if only he hadn't been so prone to spoonerisms."

 

[Sue Cook]

I don't get it

 

[BillyB]

I don't get it

shepherd leperd

 

[sylfield]

I don't get it

Spoonerism - transposed the l from the word loving and the sh from Shepherd, so becomes shoving leopard.

 

[Viellarde]

I don't get it

Transfer letters between the words. Shoving lepherd

 

[StarTrekker]

Loving Shepherd become Shoving leopard

 

[Bob Patterson]

???

 

[margaretritchie48]

I don't get it

ME NEITHER

 

[margaretritchie48]

shepherd leperd

STILL DONT MUST BE TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING

 

[Oaklegs]

Not going to pass this one on as it takes to long to explain.

 

[Roysta]

Two really good friends, a brunette and a blonde were sitting in a pub after work, the 6 o'clock news starts on a tv in the pub, a man is standing on the rail of the Sydney Harbour bridge threatening to jump, brunette says to blonde bet you $50 he jumps, blonde say's you're on, next thing swish of he goes, blonde say's bugger and hands over the $50, after about 15min brunette say's hears your money back I saw it on the 5 o'clock news, blonde replies no its yours I also saw it on 5 o'clock news, but I never thought he would do it twice.

 

[Dennis]

No joke this morning but show this to your grandchildren with I/ Phones, My Good Old Days.
Back in the old days with tanners and bobs, when mothers had patience, and fathers had jobs,
When football teams and families wore hand me down shoes, and TV stations gave you two channels to choose, back in the days of three penny bits, when schools employed nurses to look for your nits, when snowballs were harmless, ice slides were permitted, and all of your jumpers were warm and hand knitted. back in the days of hot ginger beer, when children stopped home for more than six years, when children
respected what older people said, and pot was put under the bed, back in the old days of listening to mothers, when neighbors were friendly and spoke to each other, when cars were so rare you could play in the streets, and doctors made house calls, and the police walked their beats back in the day of Milligan Goons, when butter was butter and songs all had tunes, it was dumplings for dinner and trifle for tea, and your annual break was a day beside the sea, back in the days of Dixons Rock Green, Crackerjack peas and Lyons Ice cream, when children could wear National Health glasses and teachers stood in front of their classes Back in the days of rocking and reeling and mobiles were things you hung from the ceiling when woodwork and cookery was taught in schools and everyone dreamt of a win on the pools, back in the days when I was a lad, I can't help but smile at the fun I had, hopscotch, roller skates, marbles and snowballs to lob, back in the days of Tanners and Bobs. (I found this whilst looking for Jokes, I am 96 now but can remember these things clearly.)

 

[wayne lucas]

Transfer letters between the words. Shoving lepherd

if you have explain it its not funny Wayne

 

[Viellarde]

if you have explain it its not funny Wayne

I think those who don't get it probably haven't heard the word spoonerism before. It's not the first joke that caused confusion.

 

[Viellarde]

STILL DONT MUST BE TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING

It isn't exactly a 'slip of the tongue', but it may help you understand.

 

[Wandiwa]

Is a spoonerism, the same as a Freudian Slip?

 

[Liz46]

It lost me. I just don't get it

 

[Luckyus]

Is a spoonerism, the same as a Freudian Slip?
View attachment 87023

Could be without the lace? Wasn't he the bloke who wanted to throw his leg over his sister?

 

[Vet543]

Not going to pass this one on as it takes to long to explain.

That sounds like the BLIND GUY who walked into a bar (and he could walk in cause he had a guide dog.)
After a couple of drinks he said to the guy beside him DO YOU WANT TO HEAR AN IRISH JOKE.
And the guy replied 'Because you are blind I will explain this to you...
The Bartender is 6 foot 2 and built Arnold Schwarzenegger
AND HE IS IRISH
The Doorman is an Olympic Wrestling Champion. AND HE IS IRISH
The two guys beside me are Karate Black Belts and train people at the local Gym. AND THEY ARE IRISH TOO
OK? So if you want to tell an Irish Joke now then GO AHEAD.
The Blind Guy thought a second or two and replied ...Naah forget it I don't want to have to explain it 4 times.

 

[Viellarde]

Is a spoonerism, the same as a Freudian Slip?
View attachment 87023

I'm not falling for that!