[Luckyus]

A Few One Liners​

I went to the paper shop – it had blown away

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day and I couldn’t find any

I bought some HP Sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for 2 years

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery fluid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

A woman told her doctor- “I’ve got a bad back”. The doctor said – “It’s old age”. The woman said – “ I want a second opinion”. The doctor says – “OK, you’re ugly as well”.

A man walked into the doctor’s. The doctor says – “ I haven’t seen you in a long time”. The man replied – “I know – I’ve been ill”

A man walked into the doctor’s and said _ “I’ve hurt my arm in several places”
The doctor said – “ Well don’t go there any more”

I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve already lost three days.

I went to the corner shop and bought four corners.

I went to the doctor’s and I said – “Have you got anything for wind /” so he gave me a kite.

I went to the doctor’s the other day, and he said – “Go to Bournemoth, it’s great for flu. So I went and I got it.

I was in the attic the other day with the wife. Damp and dusty…. but she’s great with the kids.

 

[Wandiwa]