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Constipated A guy went to see the doc because he was constipated. The doctor gave him a suppository, told him to put it up his back passage then, sent him on his way with instructions to come back the following week which he did. "How did you go"? Asked the doc. " reply.."For all the good that...

Golfing wife A man teaching his wife to play golf, she whacked the ball surprisingly hard and, it disappeared under some shrubs, she headed off to retrieve to retrieve the ball when, she was bitten by a snake, herr husband ran to the club house yelling, "IS THERE A DOCTOR? IS THERE A DOCTOR"...

Doctors Diagnosis The patient was lying in bed unaware his lgs had been amutated. The doctor arrived to give him the news "I have some good news and some bad news" ok, you better give me the bad news first " well, I'm sorry but, we had to amputate both your legs" the man thought about that for...

Sick dog A man walked into the vet surgery carrying his dog. What seems to be the problem? the vet said, taking the dog from him. He has a sore ear, ok, let me have a look gosh, I'll have to him down. Why? said dogs owner, just because he has a sore ear?? No said the vet, because he's bloody...

Ducks!! Two ducks crossing the road, one duck said quack quack, the other duck said, shut up I'm going as quack as i can.

Skin Divers Why do skin divers fall backwards into the water?

Another Irish Joke Two Irish men on a flight, as they were getting close to their destination, the pilot announced that their be a delay in landing as one engine had shut down butm not to panic as there are 3 more engines. That announcement was followed with "Im so sorry but, there will be...

Blonde A blonde and a brunette walking along the beach. A seagull flying overhead, dropped a little parcel on the blonde's head. The brunette offered to run to toilet block to get some tissue paper. "Don't be stupid said the blonde, by the time you get back, that seagull will be miles away"

Jokes, fun and games What question can you not answer yes to?

Name the vegetable Peel the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside and throw away the inside

Seniors Discount Club Hi, I'm Marie Ann from Warrnambool Victoria